Tonight is the final segment of the O.C. reunion and our time with the ladies has come to an end.
This season we have endured Gretchen singing in Vegas, Tamra crying in Bora Bora and, worst of all, Vicki "woo-hooing”"in love. Alexis was always in her own world, and no matter where Heather was, she was always on her high horse -- so they barely count.
When last we left them, Heather's eyebrows were threatening to recede into her hairline as she yelled at Alexis. Dr. Dubrow's Botox is no match for Heather's hatred of Alexis.
We resume tonight with continued attacks on Alexis as Andy baits the hook and allows Gretchen to go fishing for the drama. At issue is whether or not Fox 5 actually offered Gretchen the hosting job before Alexis.
I don't think any of us really cares, especially since Alexis doesn't even work there anymore, but the ensuing game of dueling emails was pretty entertaining. Alexis proved Heather's point that Alexis does actually speak horribly to the crew and Gretchen won the battle. For those of you keeping score, that's one O.C. friendship down.
I want to give a shout out to the production team for the reunion show for splicing together bright montages of the ladies over the course of the season, but that is all child's play leading up to the main topics at hand: Vicki and Brooks and the people who hate them.
To Brooks' credit he actually shows his face on the set. Unfortunately, he only sets the record straight about one thing: He does not owe child support for the four children he has by three women; he was jailed for not paying child support for the four children he has by two women. Yeah, that's better.
Once Brooks is gone, Briana takes a seat next to her mother and things get downright ugly. This is surprising considering that Briana is always the voice of reason and is just about the only sane woman in Orange County. She usually calms things down, but tonight her honesty gets everyone all riled up. And by everyone, I mean Vicki.
I guess since Briana is her daughter and Briana is about six months pregnant, Vicki felt she could not "go there" with her -- let's not forget that Vicki's only defense is offense. So she turned all of her anger, frustration and bitterness onto Gretchen and Tamra (who have gone all disgustingly Thelma & Louise on us).
Three seconds after Briana airs her honest feelings about Brooks (with evidence and specific examples), the reunion ends with a back and forth about who has cheated and when. And then it comes out -- the bombshell that will forever change the way I feel about the O.C. Housewives, Andy Cohen, and Bravo.
Yes, Tamra cheated on Simon with Eddie (allegedly). Yes, Vicki cheated on Donn with Brooks (definitely allegedly). Emotional affairs, legal separations -- whatever the caveats, who cares? What I cannot believe is that Donn cheated on Vicki for 20 years.
Strike that -- I can absolutely believe that Donn cheated on Vicki for 20 years. What I cannot believe is that I sat through six seasons of Vicki whining about her empty love tank and complaining nonstop about her marriage like she didn't know what on earth the problem could be when she knew. The. Whole. Time. How could she do this to me? How could Bravo do this to me?!?!
Just because the season is over, that doesn't mean I don't want to hear from you. What did you think of this season? Did the reunion give you closure? Who will be back next season? Tell me your thoughts in the comments below and be sure to follow me on Twitter @MutesVoice.