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'Real Housewives of New Jersey' season premiere recap

The Season 6 "RHONJ" premiere was filled with new housewives, the return of an original housewife and a whole lot of emotions; this is your warning that you might need some tissues.

Teresa Giudice: You might actually have heard of the name Giudice outside of the Bravo bubble because Teresa and her husband Joe are indicted on federal fraud charges and could face a long time in prison: real housewives have real drama.

The episode started with her sister-in-law Melissa calling Teresa to check to see if some rumors are true, Teresa says they aren’t true, and after she hangs up, her daughter Gia asks what she was talking about on the phone. Teresa tries to brush it off which leads to the first emotional moment: Gia, who is 12-years-old, says she’s old enough to comprehend what is going on and bursts into tears, and so does Teresa.

The icing on the on the cake of feelings happens at the end of the episode. The Giudice family gets together for Joe’s grandma’s 80th birthday and takes a family picture. Remember they are Italian so it’s at least 50 people in the photo.

Joe gives an emotional speech about the importance of family, which makes Gia cry ... again. After the speech, Gia finds Joe to tell him how he did a great job and she cries some more. They share a beautiful father-daughter moment and are then later joined by Teresa and Joe’s father Frank. Frank tells Gia he loves her and how he will always be there for the family.

Then the next screen reads “In Memory of Frank Giudice,” who passed away this year. So many feelings. Throughout the season we will see how Teresa and her family handle the charges.

Best Teresa quote of the episode: “If life was perfect we would get bored.”

Dina Manzo: Dina is back and I was thrilled. If you have just jumped on the Jersey housewives bandwagon, Dina is an original Jersey housewife who left in the middle of Season 2 because she was fed up with crazy Danielle Staub’s behavior.

It was clear Bravo wanted to build up her big return with her dramatic entrance. Dina drives up to Teresa’s house, in her Mercedes SVU of course, and steps out with the camera focusing on her fabulous black boots. We see her boots strut to the front door and we finally see her face when Teresa’s daughters open the door.

Dina, who thinks of Teresa as a sister, gives her a guardian angel bracelet her mother made. While Dina is a support system for Teresa, we learn that Dina is going through an emotional time of her own. Her daughter Lexi is going to college and Dina is separated from her husband Tommy. Dina goes to her therapist and confesses she has a fear of dying alone with her cats.

Same here sister, same here.

Best Dina quote of the episode: “I’m pretty zen until you f--- with me.”

Melissa Gorga: Melissa, who looks just like J. Lo this season, admits that last season she found it difficult to smile with all the cheating rumors that surrounded her.

She and Teresa are in a good place and are getting along, which only took three seasons to happen. I guess when you could be sent to jail for at least half-a-century you make up with your inlaws.

Melissa invites Teresa and Dina to new housewife cast member Amber’s harvest party. Melissa reconnects with Amber at the party and finds out Amber had breast cancer. Amber can’t believe how Melissa didn’t know she had cancer because allegedly Melissa sent her a Facebook message saying if she needs anything to let her know. Melissa has no recollection of sending the message and is later confused about it. Throughout the season I look forward to seeing how Melissa and Amber’s relationship plays out and if whether or not she and Teresa can get along for an entire season.

Best Melissa quote of the episode: “Twerking...you know like Miley Cyrus?”

Amber Marchese: Say hello to one of the three new housewives. Amber was good friends with Melissa growing up but they lost touch after Melissa’s wedding. She says that she and Melissa both wanted to be successful, so Amber went to Columbia University and Melissa went straight to marrying money.

She has “four friggin” kids and is determined to make them obedient. She hosts a harvest party and while preparing for the party, her husband brings in a dead pig for roasting. I’ve never seen a housewife scream so loud and jump so quickly.

Take note, if you want a housewife to stay away from you, carry a dead pig.

As stated above, Amber informs Melissa that she had breast cancer. However, it was really hard to pay attention to what was being said because I was blinded by the blue and silver colored bronzer on Amber’s face.

I think Amber will be refreshing to the show. In one of her side interviews she said she was really wound up, she then proceeds to grab a glass of wine that was so conveniently placed next to her. But she became my hero of the night when she drank it out of a bendy straw.

Best Amber quote of the episode: “Is there a guidette book of etiquettesy?”

Teresa Aprea: Just to be clear her name isn’t pronounced like Teresa Giudice’s, it’s pronounced Ter-eh-sa.

Emphasis on the eh -- coincidentally that is how I feel about her.

Teresa has an identical twin sister Nicole, who is also on the show. Teresa is married to Rino (really) who owns a restaurant in Little Italy. She and Rino were married, had a kid together, divorced and then got remarried.

You see, fairy tales really do happen in New Jersey.

There really wasn’t anything interesting about Teresa other than her name being pronounced differently. Rino is far more entertaining and doesn’t have a filter. We learn that he had a circumcision when he was 27 years old.

Best Rino quote of the episode: “I feel like my life is a Broadway production, and I’m the star of it.”

Nicole Napolitano: Nicole is the other twin and really isn’t any more interesting than her sister. She was married for 14 years, had two kids, is divorced and now dating someone named Bobby.

Oh, I forgot to mention that she also lives with her parents.

At the harvest party, Nicole and Dina bond over being divorced with kids. Like her sister, I didn’t find her to be that interesting and I think that she and her sister are going to be the obnoxious ones of the group. However, we will only find out as the season progresses.

Best Nicole quote of the episode: “A woman only needs two things: Dunkin’ Donuts and oral sex.”

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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