By Lauren McEwen
8:49 AM EST, February 26, 2013
Kim pops over to visit Kyle. Nice to see all of this sisterly action.
Kim's enjoying Kyle's decorations, including a collection of enormous turtle -- or are those tortoise -- shells that are hanging along one wall. I hope Kim's right about the shells being good luck, because they definitely aren't adding anything else to the room.
Kim's not here for a straight-up social call. She's still worried about Taylor and thinks she has a problem with alcohol. She has gone through a lot in the past year, and I'm glad that Kim is real enough to look at these red flags and want to take action.
Kyle's fearful of discussing this with Taylor, especially since she dealt with something similar with Kim. She didn't believe that Kim even listened to her, but Kim assures Kyle that she heard every word. It may have taken her awhile to get the help she needed, but Kyle's persistence helped her get sober. It's really touching.
Finally, Kim calls Taylor and the girls head over to her house for their intervention.
Lisa and Ken are feeding freaking swans in their backyard because that's just how they do. Oh, and they're also headed to St. Tropez to visit Ken's son, Warren. Do you hate your life already?
Wait. Warren married one of Lisa's friends? Was this discussed before and I just missed it? That is ... just awkward. Your friend marrying your stepson? And they're going to stay at their house. It's like the plot to a "Meet the Parents" sequel.
Kim and Kyle make it to Taylor's and first thing, Taylor tries to pass the incident at Kim's party off as a "hand-off issue." Later, in a confessional, she explains that it was a miscommunication between her, her nanny and her mom. But she was just too flippant about it over the phone, honestly.
"Oh? I didn't know where my small child was! La di da!" (I'm paraphrasing, obviously.)
Kim isn't hearing it, though. It's not just about the other night. Taylor's drinking has been out of control all season.
Overall, Kim is being very fair and kind with her delivery, but Taylor's stone-faced expression gives me pause. It has been a rough year for Taylor. Actually, I can't believe she's on the show this season.
She will admit that there are times when she uses alcohol to forget about it all. Then when she wakes up the next morning, she's in "the darkest place" she can be in. Honestly glad Kim had the wherewithal to talk to Taylor about this now, before things escalated.
Yolanda's at Mohamed's prepping for this housewarming party she's having to show the girls his newly decorated place. I'm glad she's cool with her ex, but how far does this go?
She says he's a great person, but faithfulness isn't his thing, and a "proper Dutch girl" isn't about that life. Not in the least.
Lisa shows up first and tells Yolanda about her trip to St. Tropez. Coincidentally, Yolanda's going to be in Paris around that time, and they make plans to hook up. Argh! Lisa and Yolanda being fabulous in Paris? I cannot wait.
David, Yolanda's current husband, shows up, completing the blended family thing. Brandi and Jennifer show up, and Mohamed cranks up the charm for Brandi. I need a gif of all of Brandi's confessionals from this episode, especially one of her claiming not to flirt with Mohamed and exalting in Adrienne's decision not to come to the party.
Wait, Brandi's going to Paris, too?! Gahhhhh!
Marisa's here, with her husband. Definitely hope Marisa gets the next spin-off for two reasons: 1) Need to learn more about the Hollywood-powerful Zanucks. 2) She cannot get enough of the taste of her own foot, and I love it.
When David suggests that it's "time for a change" because Marisa and Dean have been together for 16 years, Marisa wholeheartedly agrees. Of course, David's terrible joke was meant for Dean, but Marisa thinks "like a guy," so ... y'know.
Dean sips his drink awkwardly when Marisa jokes about ogling other men, and then tension spikes up to 1000. Most patient man on reality TV. Bless his little heart.
Kyle and Mauricio arrive, and I honestly haven't forgiven Mauricio for his behavior at that terrible Moroccan dinner, so ... meh.
Yolanda tells the couple about her upcoming Paris trip (To visit agencies for Gigi! That's awesome!) and Kyle and Mauricio are "coincidentally" Paris-bound, as well.
You guys, this overseas trip is just as contrived as the other overseas trips on all of the other Housewives-esque shows. Making it seem coincidental does not make this any less obvious, doods.
Now, the whole group's invited, but Taylor took Kim and Kyle's intervention to heart, and decides to stay home to work on her life.
Things get super awkward when Brandi tells David how much she likes Yolanda. Not because of anything Brandi said, but because David's first reaction is to say, "I know. Mohamed picked well."
Yolanda's busy making ish awkward for someone else: Taylor. She confronts Taylor about talking behind her back. Remember the angry rant at the Moroccan dinner? Worst party Kyle's ever thrown, y'all.
Taylor isn't bout it. She denies it all, and explains (in her confessional, obvi) that her issues aren't with Yolanda, but with David, who had a relationship with Taylor's friend, Linda. Not a good time to discuss it, in Taylor's opinion.
Kyle spills the beans about Linda, but Yolanda already knows that David's ex is still in love with him, and she can't be bothered with that bull.
David has got to stop playing the piano at dinner parties, though. It's too sickening.
Ken and Lisa get to Warren's and it so beautiful, I want to cry. Apparently, Warren owns a bunch of properties in Notting Hill, and has been successful. Lisa looked so proud to say he was self-made in her confessional. So cute.
He also has a 21-year-old son whose set to graduate from college. Which gets them to discussing just how old Ken was when Warren was born. I'm going to believe Lisa when she says he was 19, because women are usually right about that kind of thing.
Sue, obviously old enough to be Warren's stepmother, doesn't want to discuss ages. A little background on Sue: She was a Bond girl!
No comment about the beach, or the beautiful blue water, or the other women just picking up and going to Paris. I'm too bitter.
Kyle and Kim are still having open talks about Kim's drinking. It's so nice to see them trying to mend their friendship. Brandi and Yolanda are pretty cute, too. It's just all so lovely, I know it's going to get ruined.
Marisa calls with horrible news. She and Dean were headed to the airport when they found out that her father-in-law just passed away. That is just awful. Thankfully, they were home to get the news.
Lisa and Ken go to dinner with Warren and Sue. Ken's busy trying to lure Warren out to Beverly Hills and it's adorbz. Wait. Lisa is only five years older than Warren? I'm trying to make a timeline here, but I'm too confused.
The rest of the crew arrives in Paris and head up to their rooms. Yolanda's missing David, and I feel for her. She and David are joined at the hip so being in Paris solo isn't ideal.
Everyone gathers by Brandi's balcony to see the fireworks and Kim is late -- which ... let's just say, Kyle doesn't like it when Kim's late. Brandi's sexually harassing Ken, as usual. And then there's this discussion about threesomes and Brandi's threesome rules and OHMYGOSH. Please make it stop.
Kim finally shows and she's nauseous and kind of spacey, and you already know Kyle assumes the worst. Please don't let her be right.
Next time: Kyle confronts Kim, Ken and Mauricio ride Segueways, the ladies take a gross French cooking class, and Lisa and Kyle go at it. Again.
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