This week’s episode opened with our 12 contestants in the Meatpacking district surrounded by a fleet of Lexuses. Another unconventional materials challenge! In a group setting! Brought to us by a shameless product placement!
The designers cruise through the city (you know, in their Lexuses) with the task of visiting two of three sanctioned stores from which to buy their materials. Armed with an amount of money that would cover a market-rate apartment Downtown, they shop. And gossip about the “living nightmare” that is the trio of Ken, Sue and Alexandria.
Things heat up when they return to the studio and the threesome starts to make good on their highly speculated failure. Turns out Sue probably can’t sew, especially not on “these machines.” Ken feels edged out and his running diva dialogue begins. Alexandria remains quietly loyal to Sue, teetering and “walking on glass” around Ken.
The rest of the designers are basically extras in this episode, as we focus on the slow (Lexus!) car crash that is the Ken/Sue/Alexandria grouping. And making a brief return, Marco comes to apologize for past transgressions. (“My minus,” he laments.)
After a thirty-seven minute review of the myriad prizes the winner will saunter off with (you get yours, Lifetime), the gang is ready for the runway. Frail limbs clamber onto quilted wallpaper couture, stray hairs are smoothed back and Sue sends her model into the bathroom to have her sew herself into her placemat LBD.
Tim uses his outside voice to force the designers and models onto the runway, yelling over his shoulder that Sue’s actions are “unprecedented.” Giddy with anticipation of Sue’s implosion, we break for commercial.
And now we’re back. The runway show begins. Each group sends their wallpaper/goji berry/whatever collections down the catwalk, and we’re treated to the designer’s comments. “I am blinded by its luminescence!” claps Jeremy, who will go on to win. (This reviewer’s money was on Brandon’s wedding gown, as the chest region of Jeremy’s dress looked like tiny, brittle sand dollars.)
The judges award Jeremy his gold star, something is brought to us by Yoplait, and then they turn to the trio of doom. Ken points out that Sue can’t sew, and a confused Heidi sort of defends her. Alexandria is yelled at by “Mean-a Garcia” for not speaking loudly enough, and looks like she might have peed her pants a little. The judges invite the models down, grope the strange garments and declare that yeah, Sue should go home. For some reason this makes Ken cry in the green room, we see a few more product plugs and the episode is over.Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun