9:28 AM EDT, October 15, 2012
This week in Storybrooke, there was no sign of Rumpelstiltskin and only five seconds of Regina. No worries though, as we got our dose of evil this week from Cora.
The episode also showed us the brief relationship of Snow and Charming's mother, as well as her and Emma's plan to find a way back to Storybrooke. Also, Henry continued to be the absolute worst.
Ogres hunt by sound? Let me go ahead and fire my gun.
We pick up where we left off from last week's episode: Emma and Snow are stuck in the pit with Cora. The evil mother tries to start a conversation with Emma, but Snow isn't having it and warns Emma to not trust her.
Cora says they have nothing to worry about, as all of her magic is gone. They get pulled out of the pit by none other than Lancelot, who takes the prize as the worst actor on this show. His monotone delivery of his all but corny lines led to some cringeworthy moments. At least he provides some good eye candy for the ladies.
Snow happens to know Lancelot from when he served as a knight in King George's army. Remember George? Alan Dale is back and all I can think of is "Not Penny's Boat" (I apologize in advance for the 'Lost' references I will inevitably make every week).
Through flashback, we learn that Lancelot brought her to George after his army was sent to capture Charming. George is still pissed about Charming breaking it off with his daughter, and he gets his revenge by poisoning Snow with infertility. He should've saved that for MTV.
Snow believes that the tree portal where she first transported Emma as a baby may, be the only way back to Storybrooke. They set off with Aurora and Mulan, who asks if Emma's gun is magic. Nice touch. Before they go, Lancelot warns them that the ogres are back. We learn that ogres are blind creatures in Fairyland that look and act nothing like Shrek.
In the middle of their journey, Emma decides to fire a gun because she might be deaf, and didn't hear Snow say ogres hunt by sound. An ogre immediately comes out of the woods and breathes hot ogre breath on Emma. Snow's archery skills come in handy though, as she shoots the ogre in the forehead. Emma should probably shower.
Snow and Emma arrive at the their old fairytale home where they are soon greeted by Lancelot, who turns out to be not Lancelot! It's Cora, who has been disguised as tall, dark and handsome this whole time.
The real Lancelot has been dead for years and Cora has always had her magic powers. She traps the mother-daughter duo against a wall, but Mulan saves the day. Cora has the final say however, and burns the tree along with their chance of getting back home.
At the end of the episode, Emma and Snow have a cute bonding moment where Emma acknowledges that she knows her mother gave up everything for her. A teary Snow sees a flashback of Emma's room from when she was born, and they leave to go back to the outskirts.
You're pregnant! Or at least you will be.
Besides Snow's first meeting with Lancelot, flashbacks also showed the first and last time Snow met Charming's mother, Ruth. Lancelot tells Snow that George's plan to make her infertile was pretty messed up, so he wants to help her.
Charming has gone to see his mom where they wait for Snow, but not before they are ambushed by George's soldiers. Charming pulls a Beatrix Kiddo and fends off numerous troops with one sword, but unfortunately his mom manages to get an arrow in the chest. Snow and Lancelot arrive at the scene moments after, where Lancelot tells them they need to go to a lake to get magic water. Seriously?
On their trek, Ruth tells Snow about her necklace which apparently predicts the future. The gypsy pendant will tell Snow what the sex of her baby is, even before she is pregnant. Snow has to break the news to Charming's mom that she won't get to be a grandma.
They arrive at the lake which is all dried up, like this storyline. Lance conveniently finds the last of the water left in a small shell, and Snow insists he gives it to a dying Ruth.
The water doesn't seem to be helping though, so Charming and Snow decide to marry before his mom dies. Lance marries them, and they drink water which was obviously the magic water. Lance and Ruth had planned to switch the water, so Snow could become fertile again.
Ruth dies right after the ceremony, which makes her the second character on this show who is actually dead (RIP). David's fake daddy however, is not. George appears at the very end of the episode, alive and well in Storybrooke. It looks like he is far from done with Charming.
Henry and Charming had a side story in Storybrooke and I'm not sure what it was about because I was asleep during those parts. Henry wants to learn how to sword fight? That's normal for a town in Maine, I guess. And Operation Viper? No, Henry. No.
Sleeping Beauty shows how useless she is in her half-ass attempt to kill Snow. She immediately gets slammed, and Snow gets points in my book.
Regina has been fired from her job. It's time to open a cupcake shop, Regina!
Jefferson reunites with his daughter Grace. I was actually somewhat moved by this scene, because Jefferson is one of the few stable characters in Storybrooke and he totally deserved it.
Red is officially the hottest werewolf ever.
"Pretty sure I've dated a few." -- Emma, after Mulan asks her if she's ever seen an ogre.
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