I watched this episode of "Jersey Shore" at the ripe hour of 3 a.m. (thankfully, I recently ordered DVR) and was cracking up at a drunken Deena. As always, I was happy that the new episode picked up right where the last left off.
Although she got thrown in the drunk tank for “public intoxication,” the funny part was that it was because Deena was dancing in the middle of the street, holding up traffic. Not fighting, not falling over on the beach, but dancing ... by herself.
Steve from the Shore Store was a negligent babysitter and let Deena frolic all through the streets where she skipped, danced and mumbled to herself about how much she loves drinking during the day. I wonder what her stance is on day-drinking now that she’s had her first "Jersey Shore" slammer experience.
Not only was I fully entertained by her squinty eyes and hot-mess hair, but I was equally entertained when Ronnie, Sammi and Steve went back to the bar to continue drinking after Deena was taken away in handcuffs.
It was Ron’s idea, but after the first round of Soco-and-lime shots, Sammi reluctantly went along with the rest of the “Meatball Day,” minus one meatball. At one point she even poured part of her shot on the floor in honor of her homie, Deena.
I wanted to judge them for being what some would consider “bad friends,” but I couldn’t since this had happened to a “friend of mine” in college on the way to the club, where the rest of us her friends still went to the club. So, I agree with Ronnie’s mentality. It’s barely a misdemeanor and there's nothing you can do about it, so you might as well carry on with your day. Wait ... did I just agree with Ronnie?
The only person’s reaction who was a bit un-friend-like was Snooki, but recently, her reaction to friends’ misfortune is definitely an ugly pattern. Since Snooki is so miserable being knocked up at the Jersey Shore, she finds such joy in situations such as these, where she happily exclaimed, “Not me this time, woo-hoo!” Later in the episode she also gets mad when the orthopedic surgeon informs Jenni that her foot is NOT fractured, and should heal soon.
I did agree with Snooki however, when she said, “You know this is a f---ed up world when I’m the most responsible one.” Agreed, Snooks.
I really got a kick out of the cast members all loading in the car to go get Deena: Pregnant Snooks driving, crippled Jenni in the passenger seat and the drunken couple, Ronnie and Sam, in the back. What a beautiful dysfunctional family it is.
When they pull up, they see Deena’s mom outside and they know she's in trouble. So like all good friends that sense their friend is in trouble with their parents, they got the hell out of there, and fast! Cue the peel wheels sound-effect.
Deena’s parents bail her out and bring her home to the Shore House where they do a bit of parental-lecturing outside. I died when her Mom said, “Oh I’m sure the judge will say, 'Oh Deena, you had a 'Meatball Day.' I get it, it’s OK.”
Meanwhile, the boys go to the store because they're bored and want to spend a couple hundred dollars on toys. They get a boxing dummy and Mike buys an “all-terrain” stroller with sunroof, cup holder and brakes for Snooks. It was pretty bad-ass, but she did not seem amused.
Snooki refused to go with Mike to the roof to see her present, but when she later went up with Pauly, she thought the stroller was pretty awesome and thanked him over dinner ... but still thinks he’s a “douche.”
Next, Mike makes his plan to ask Paula to “make it official” so he creates a “Let’s Make It Official” shirt at the Shore Store. Genius.
Mike takes her to dinner and unbuttons his shirt, as he likes to do, and to no one's surprise — she says YES! The room cheers like he just asked her to marry him or something. Come on, people — they've been hooking up for four years now, and finally he wants to add dinner dates to the boning. Excuse me while I don’t “Aww” with the group. I give it a week before he forgets it's official and smushes someone else.
Speaking of the newly Mrs. Sitch, we all knew Paula was a bit crazy before, but becoming “official” brought a whole new “situation” (insert air quote and chuckle). While at the restaurant, Paula starts talking about the two walking down the aisle, getting a house, getting a puppy, having babies and you can just tell he wants to slam on the brakes, go back in time and reverse the beast he just unleashed.
The next morning, Jenni gets up early because she isn’t sleeping well not knowing where she and Roger stand. It had been four days since the incident at Bamboo and she still had not heard from her live-in boyfriend. I would be worried, too, as this situation does not look good.
She gives in and calls him, even though she is still mad at him, but he does not answer. A couple hours later she has a sit-down with the girls and starts to cry about her worries that they are over. I felt bad for Jenni at this moment. Not knowing is hard and she really seems to love her old, tatted gorilla-juicehead Guido boyfriend (sorry Roger, you deserved it after this episode!).
She gets the courage to call again and this time he answers, and, oh boy, did he answer! Roger was heated at her from the second he picked up the phone. He was condescending, loud and just straight cold. Even though she cried, he continues to mock her. I was not a fan of Roger at this moment, but I am just glad that they might be able to work it out. We will have to wait until next week to find out I suppose.
On the preview for next week's episode, we also see Deena crying (SHOCKING! Not.) and calling her Mom about wanting to go home. Deena entertains me but I seriously cannot take anymore of her blubbering. If she is so happy and healthy, why is she crying 10-times more than she has on any other season of the show? Girlfriend needs to see a doctor.
Things I Learned On This Episode of "Jersey Shore":
• If Deena went to jail, she'd be someone’s b---h in a second.
• At the Jersey shore, you will get arrested for dancing in the street.
• Paula has her lip pierced. Oh wait, we knew that. It was the Situation that never noticed.
• “Making it official” in "Jersey Shore" lingo means “Sex on the reg!” To further break it down for the general public, it means to have sex with one person regularly, and no one else. I hope Sitch knows that ...
Let me know what you thought of this week's episode on Twitter: @KT_HUTCH.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun