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'Jersey Shore' recap: Episode 4

Jersey Shore (tv program)

In what seems to be the longest week of my life, the arrival of my Thursday-night obsession couldn’t have come soon enough. We were tempted with a halfway-decent episode last week, which set us up for a 75 percent OK episode this week. How did it pan out?

Tonight starts off with Danny busting in the house, flipping out about the lack of capable T-shirt slingers because of the unexpected dipping of Vinny/laziness of Jenni and Mike. Our little Guido TV family has been threatened with new roommates. To prevent the introduction of new blood, the members of Team Meatball work their asses off to buy time before Danny follows through.

Mike has become the newest member of Team Zoloft. He has fallen into a bit of a depression because his roommates have shown him no birthday love while Pauly has been showered with it. Maybe it’s just me, but if I were a 35-year-old male with a bad reputation, I wouldn’t be whining about celebrating my birthday on TV while I continue to hook up with barely legal college dropouts.

The girls have been extra sneaky and have planned a surprise party, complete with strippers and completely appropriate “Over the Hill” decorations. Pauly and Mike are shocked at all the effort that their roommates put into the party, and for the night it seems that everything is copacetic. Hell, the party goes so well that Mike ends up taking his stripper home (not surprised).

Finally! We have our first fight! If you picked Sam to get into the first altercation, I sure as hell hope you put money on it. I would not have chosen her. The quick rumble didn’t satisfy my need for a huge blowout, but it’ll have to do.

Pauly is on the verge of a meltdown, so he rallies the troops to go to Staten Island and kidnap Vinny. Vinny admits that he is not 100 percent ready to recommit to his crazy Jersey life, but it seems that his week home allowed him to center himself as a person.

Word of the Night: “Anita” – “Anita cigarette. Anita French toast.” Anita Mike to stop being such a grimy pig.

Lots of ups in this week’s episode, for sure. Fight quota for the season is down, but the dumb skank count seems to be right on track, if not higher than the past two seasons. Let’s hope that this trend continues for the rest of the season!

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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