Around this time every season, "Jersey Shore" begins to annoy more than entertain, so rather than give the typical recap, let's highlight why we all really watch — the ridiculous quotes. Without further ado, here are the most ridiculous things heard on tonight's episode:
"I love you. No matter what." — Ronnie to Sammi
"I'm hurt." ... "Do you want to come to the gym with us?" — Tearful exchange between Mike and Ronnie
"Can you cover up your body when you walk past the church?" — Florence priest to Snooki
"God made my t--s." ... "He didn't make mine." — Snooki and Jenni
"You make me happy and I want to suck your butt." — Snooki to her boyfriend. (He didn't like it.)
"'I want you to put nutella on my toes and suck 'em right now, Jionni.'" ... "Well, not my toes." — Ronnie telling Snooki what to say to her uptight boyfriend, and Snooki then correcting him.
"JOEY D TAKING OVER ITALY. PAULY D IS A CLOWN!" — The debut of Pauly D's Italian toolbag alter-ego. Surreal.
"All we need is FPC. Fistpump, push-up, chapstick." — Vinny
"Can we talk? Blah, blah blah, fight, fight, I don't care anymore, blah blah, etc." — Ronnie and Sam have a classic Ronnie and Sam conversation.
"I think right now me and Ron are together. Granted it's just tonight. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow?" — A very earnest Sammi Sweetheart
"FALL BACK!" — Jenni to a girl getting to close at the club.
"I was like, don't f--- with my bitch." — Snooki defending Deena.
"Two meatballs attack." — Deena describing the bar fight.
"Elis is definitely not getting the golden ticket." — Deena turning down the "cute Italian waiter" after seeing a hickey (or bite mark) from his sister(?!).
"You don't have to do a f---ing intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin. I'm just addicted to my boyfriend's penis. That's all." — Snooki
Final note: Did anyone notice MTV blurred out the Abercrombie logo on Mike's sweatpants? Back to the drawing board, A&F.