Around this time every season, "Jersey Shore" begins to annoy more than entertain, so rather than give the typical recap, let's highlight why we all really watch — the ridiculous quotes. Without further ado, here are the most ridiculous things heard on tonight's episode:

"I love you. No matter what." — Ronnie to Sammi

"I'm hurt." ... "Do you want to come to the gym with us?" — Tearful exchange between Mike and Ronnie

"Can you cover up your body when you walk past the church?" — Florence priest to Snooki

"God made my t--s." ... "He didn't make mine." — Snooki and Jenni

"You make me happy and I want to suck your butt." — Snooki to her boyfriend. (He didn't like it.)

"'I want you to put nutella on my toes and suck 'em right now, Jionni.'" ... "Well, not my toes." — Ronnie telling Snooki what to say to her uptight boyfriend, and Snooki then correcting him.

"JOEY D TAKING OVER ITALY. PAULY D IS A CLOWN!" — The debut of Pauly D's Italian toolbag alter-ego. Surreal.

"All we need is FPC. Fistpump, push-up, chapstick." — Vinny

"Can we talk? Blah, blah blah, fight, fight, I don't care anymore, blah blah, etc." — Ronnie and Sam have a classic Ronnie and Sam conversation.

"I think right now me and Ron are together. Granted it's just tonight. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow?" — A very earnest Sammi Sweetheart

"FALL BACK!" — Jenni to a girl getting to close at the club.

"I was like, don't f--- with my bitch." — Snooki defending Deena.

"Two meatballs attack." — Deena describing the bar fight.

"Elis is definitely not getting the golden ticket." — Deena turning down the "cute Italian waiter" after seeing a hickey (or bite mark) from his sister(?!).

"You don't have to do a f---ing intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin. I'm just addicted to my boyfriend's penis. That's all." — Snooki

Final note: Did anyone notice MTV blurred out the Abercrombie logo on Mike's sweatpants? Back to the drawing board, A&F.