It's "Prom Night" on Dancing with the Stars, and Jacoby Jones tells Karina Smirnoff he went to his prom "on a last-minute thing." He was 5'7" and 160 pounds, and went stag. Once at prom, he played some pranks and got kicked out. Oooh, scandal!
Jacoby's high school was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina when he was a college student. He's dedicating tonight's dance to his alma mater, Marion Abramson High School.
During rehearsals, the Ravens player keeps saying "rhumba" to rhyme with "Roomba" the self-propelled vacuum cleaner. I wonder if he's seen that video of the cat riding around on one?
The stage is bathed in red light as he and Karina begin dancing. Jacoby is wearing black pants and no shirt, and it is a very nice view if you're into well-muscled male bodies.
It's a very, very sexy routine -- expect a lot of newborns in the Baltimore area in about 40 weeks.
OK, the dancing: Jacoby is still going to need to work on his posture. He's doing a good job of not hunching up his shoulders, but he's letting his back curve a little too much, especially as he's trying to launch Karina into the death spiral move.
Jacoby's mom is jumping up and down, screaming in the audience. I will vote for Jacoby every week (like I wouldn't anyway) if he promises to bring his mom every week and ABC promises to show her. She's delightful.
Bruno is out of his chair, hollering about "Jacoby the Great and Powerful." Then he enthuses, "You were smoldering like a volcano of passion." He talks about how into the dance Jacoby was and that his extensions were beautiful. He mentions a "tiny, tiny thing" and warns Jacoby about his foot placement, his feet being too turned in sometimes.
Carrie Ann says he has "incredible artistry." Len says he's shocked and then goes on to explain that he knew Jacoby could do the "goofy stuff" but that this rhumba had "a refinement and a quality of movement. Mood. Atmosphere." We get another shot of an ecstatic Jacoby's Mom and it's making my night.
Jacoby is talking to someone offstage and making faces at them, and Brooke scolds him that she's trying to ask a serious question. Oh, cram it, Brooke. She asks about Hurricane Katrina, and we don't hear him say anything that we didn't already hear in rehearsal footage. So useless, our Brooke.
When Jacoby is asked about what his mom thought of the dance, he says, "You heard her, didn't you? [imitating his mom's voice] 'That my baby. That my baby.'"
Judges Scores: Carrie Ann Inaba: 8; Len Goodman: 8; Bruno Tonioli: 8. That's a total of 24.
(I've had remedial math classes since the premiere.)Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun