Despite the fact that they all hate gin, the members of the gang find themselves congregating in some random gin-bar in Philadelphia. Why? Because Facebook told them too.
This inspires the gang, who get caught up in an infuriated rant, and decide that Paddy’s needs to bump up its web presence. Hilarity ensues.
Don’t ever shush Dennis: Dennis hates two things – gin and being shushed. Both of which he was served at the anonymous gin-bar. This man – aka the shusher – has really gotten under Dennis’ skin. Telling a person to be quiet is one thing, but to shush somebody is to treat them like an animal.
To plot retaliation, Dee cyber-stalks the guys – who happens to be friends with the gin bar – and begins to consider revenge tactics with Mac. Charlie and Dennis take the more organic approach and go looking for him on foot.
Meanwhile, the sign is down: As part of their new hip approach, Charlie is put in charge of taking the Paddy’s sign down. Poor Charlie is confused when he believes the sign must be blown down, and huffs and puffs to no avail. Frank is keen on the idea that having no sign promotes a message of “exclusivity.”
MMM, Virus Videos: Once again, something has to get done, nobody does, so Frank takes it on as a project and messes it up. Instead of working on a viral video campaign to drive Paddy’s web traffic, Mac and Dee decide to cyber stalk the “Shusher.” So Frank makes a “virus” video to infect all of Paddy’s Facebook friends with … and even persuades the two to tell the camera that they are “infected” and have a “bug." More to come
To catch a shusher: Tracking him on foot, Dennis and Charlie go back to the gin bar and ask the bartender whether he knows of any douche guys that going around shushing people. Despite their pleas and clarification that the sign is down, the bartend is not sympathetic to their mission.
Naturally, they enlist the help of a police sketch artist to help them illustrate the face of the “Shusher” based off their descriptions. While the artist provides them with a remarkable sketch, the police chief informs the two that shushing is not considered assault. Naturally, Charlie makes up a rape allegation, until he’s informed that there’s no way he’s going to make it out of the PD if their story proves to be false.
Instead of putting up a fight, the two employ a caricature artist in the park to give them a good sketch. Shushing and all.
Mailing hair? While cyber stalking the shusher, aka “Dylan Toback,” Dee and Mac track him down at a Broad Street clothier. It turns out it’s not actually him, but a PSYCHO stalker that started an inflammatory Facebook profile to get back at him for “dumping her.” Although they never met, it turns out Dylan never responded to the money and hair that she sent him. And then, “he” posted a bunch of naked pictures of her online – Mac’s interest is piqued.
Finally, Mac and Dee travel to deliver the long-awaited shush to Dylan. Turns out, Dylan Toback does not exist. It’s a fake online persona made up by an elderly woman named “Catfish.” If you have seen the 2010 Cannes Award-Winning film, you get the joke. If you don’t get the joke, go watch “Catfish.”
Lessons learned: Cyber-stalking gets you nowhere; you find a bunch of creepy people that send each other hair. Also, never let Frank take on a project. He creates his “virus” video, and sends it out to all of Paddy’s Facebook friends, saying that the video they’re watching is both a computer virus AND that socializing in Paddy’s will also infect you.
Back to the sign: So, it turns out that by taking the sign down, the Gang actually completes its mission, by attracting a few douchey patrons, one of them being the infamous Shusher.
“Lock the door,” Dennis whispers to Charlie.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun