By L'Oreal Thompson, The Baltimore Sun
8:59 PM EDT, May 9, 2013
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the season finale of "Glee." In the opening scene, we find Brittany at MIT...yes, that MIT, where apparently she's some kind of genius. She wrote a bunch of numbers on the back of her math test. It's some kind of mathematical type stuff I don't understand, which will hereby be known as The Brittany Code aka "the most important scientific breakthrough of the 21st century." And she may be the most brilliant scientific mind since Einstein...say whaaat?!
Back at William McKinley, it's "All or Nothing" as New Directions prepares for regionals, which apparently they're hosting because there's some kind of tornado watch in Indianapolis. Yay for home field advantage!! Meanwhile, in New York, Rachel goes to her final callback for "Funny Girl." She sings "To Love You More" by Celine Dion and she nails it, in my humble non-professional opinion.
Then we're back in Ohio, where Britt returns from Massachusetts and goes on a tirade. Like, breaking up with Sam out of nowhere, quitting Cheerios and lighting her uniform on fire kind of tirade. Damn, girl, what got into you?!
Next, Ryder decides it's his turn to throw a temper tantrum and he refuses to compete in regionals until he finds out who's been catfishing him. And I have to admit, inquiring minds would like to know. Marley steps forth and confesses it was her. Jake defends her and says it was just a little joke. Ryder is not laughing!
At the mall, Blaine is shopping for an engagement ring for Kurt. As it turns out, the little old(er) jewelry lady is a lesbian, they get to talking and end up having a double date with Kurt and Blaine at Breadstixx. Jewelry lady and her partner tell Kurt and Blaine about all they've seen throughout the years as a couple–AIDS, "don't ask, don't tell," Ellen. It's touching in its simplicity. And then...jewelry lady proposes to her partner. Awww!!
Back at WMHS, Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schu attempt to stage an intervention. But she requests they come on her show, "Fondue for Two." And this is where we find out Michael Bolton is Sue's celebrity baby daddy. Confession: I used to love Michael Bolton when I was little. I also loved MC Hammer...and had Hammer pants. That is all.
Marley's chasing Sam down the hall at school to apologize, but then Eunique comes forward as the real catfish. Say whaaat?! Apparently, Eunique aka Wade aka Katie aka Catfish has a crush on Ryder. Again, Ryder is not feeling it. He agrees to perform at regionals, but vows never to speak to Eunique again...and he's quitting glee club afterward.
So at regionals, there's this boring male group with white gloves. Snooze fest. And then there's the Hoosierdaddies. Tell me why this girl was crunking in a dress?! You are a lady, act like one!! And then we have New Directions.
Backstage, Britt tells everyone she's been accepted to MIT early and she's freaking out about leaving high school; thus, the tirade. P.s. I love the purple! Note to self: Could make cute bridesmaids' dresses. They perform a medley of "Hall of Fame," "I Love It" and Marley's original, aptly named, "All of Nothing." Is it just me, or do they always seem to sing more songs than everyone else?
So, of course, New Directions wins regionals...like we didn't see that coming. But I'm happy about it because a) they're my faves, obvi; b) the Hoosierdaddies were a little too cocky for my liking; and c) New Directions was wearing purple, which makes you an automatic winner in my book.
We end the evening with a surprise wedding between Emma and Will (finally) and..that's it. Umm...hellooo?! What about Rachel and her audition?! What about Blaine proposing to Kurt?! Ughhh. I have to say, this season was a bit lackluster at best, but dang, do they know how to do a cliffhanger.
Guess we'll have to wait until next season to see what happens. Until then, peace out Gleeks and have a great summer! :)
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