By L'Oreal Thompson
7:49 PM EST, January 17, 2012
Valentine's Day comes early to William McKinley High School.
After a brief holiday hiatus, our favorite glee kids are back and sappier...I mean, more romantic...than ever. Case in point? The show opener with the Grease classic "Summer Nights" starring pseudo star-crossed lovers Mercedes and Sam. Sweet.
And finally, after weeks of guessing, it's revealed that Helen Mirren (yes, the Helen Mirren) is the celebrity voice-over for Becky, the cheerleader. If I had to choose a celeb to voice my inner monologues, it would be Beyonce, obvi. But I digress. With love being in the air and all, Becky sets her sights on Artie and they have dinner at Breadstix, but he eventually breaks her heart.
While we were away, Coach Beiste and Whatshisface eloped. Yay, the good girl gets the guy! But poor Emma has a case of what I like to call Ring Envy. You know, every girl you know is flashing her brand new shiny engagement ring on your Facebook Newsfeed. Gag.
So Emma drops some major hints with her rendition of ""Wedding Belle Blues" by Fifth Dimension. I love that the coaches were her bridesmaids, especially with their royal wedding-inspired fascinators so famously/heinously worn by Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie.
Which brings us to our whiteboard assignment of the week: Marry Me? What? Did you really think Mr. Schu wasn't going to take the opportunity to propose to the love of his life without using it as a lesson for the glee kids? And so, New Directions is tasked with the ultra important task of planning the perfect proposal...through song and dance, of course.
Meanwhile, White Chocolate aka Sam is trying hard to impress Mercedes and win her back. And because all the other team rosters are full, he joins the synchronized swimming team coached by no other than"Real Housewives of Atlanta"NeNe Leakes (or as my mother calls her, NoNo, WeeWee, Whatever), who apparently has "never seen lips like that on a white boy." And truthfully, neither have I.
In non-love news, Finn, who has plans to join the military after graduation, finds out his dad didn't really die while serving in Iraq. He died of an overdose in Cincinnati. But (back to love), he asks Rachel to marry him. Whaaat?!
Lesson learned: Nothing cures a broken heart like a pint of ice cream. Thank you, Sue, for being overall awesome tonight.
Best Proposal...Ever: White roses? Check. White tux? Check. High school kids singing a Euro-pop Rihanna dance hit while synchronized swimming? Check. I wouldn't have it any other way. But, then again, Mr. Schu wasn't proposing to me...unfortunately. But yay for Emma!
Best Performance of the Week: Rachel's slow-mo version of Usher and David Guetta's "Without You," which I like much better than the original. In my opinion, this rendition was more soulful and sincere. I felt it. That and I just can't stand listening to Usher whine for four minutes.
Quote of the Week: Helen Mirren as Becky: "Booyah." That is all.
In two weeks, "Glee"returns with an episode entirely dedicated to the King of Pop Michael Jackson. This will either be insanely epic (a la the Madonna episode) or an epic fail (90-minute Lady Gaga episode, anyone?).
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