Hannah and Ray are at work, discussing the semantics of "sexit" when a neighbor from up the block comes in to Grumpy's to complain that some of the coffee shop's trash has been disposed of in his trash cans.
Hannah looks unmistakably guilty but Ray doesn't notice. The conversation gets heated right quickly (Ray gets immediately aggressive) and in the end, neighborguy storms out. Hannah berates Ray for his poor customer service.
"That was horrible to watch. This is a toxic work environment. You know what? I'm out." and she walks out on her job.
Hannah then goes to neighborguy's house, a beautiful, opulent brownstone. He lets her in, somewhat befuddled, and she nervously explains that she did, in fact, dump the Grumpy's trash into his cans.
"Ray leaves work early. I'm supposed to take out the trash," she says. "But I lost my dumpster key. And you saw for yourself what a total f----ng d--k he can be. So I didn't feel like telling him, so I started looking for places to put it."
She nervously sips on the lemonade he offered her. She confesses she started to enjoy the naughtiness of her illegal dumping. She hands back his glass and then suddenly kisses him. He looks as confused as we are watching it. As she's mid-apology he kisses her back and props her up on the counter.
"What's your name?," she asks as they disrobe. "Joshua" he responds. She calls him Josh and he corrects her.
Afterwards, he finds out her name is Hannah and she finds out he's a recently separated doctor. They retire to his patio where he cooks her steak and she sips on red wine while asking pointed questions about his estranged wife.
As they're chatting, some loud music from the house next door causes Joshua to grumble about the "frat house" neighbors. Hannah looks down on them (literally, they're up on an elevated deck) to see a gaggle of 20-something hipsters riding unicycles, playing cornhole, and drinking from red solo cups. Her involuntary grin at these boys shows how charmed she is by them -- and the fact that the guy she is with thinks they are nuisances.
Later, Joshua is showing Hannah the house and she starts to politely leave. "It's that time of night," she says. "What time?" he asks. "The time to give someone space," she responds.
Joshua admits, sincerely, he'd rather she not leave, and after some cajoling they're ripping each other's clothes off again. The next morning Hannah once again tries to politely exit but Joshua asks her not to. He tells her she has to call in sick -- as he has done.
"Are you serious? What happens when a doctor calls in sick?," she sais.
"10 to 20 people die," he answers. "Don't we deserve it?"
Apparently, they do, as they spend the morning playing naked ping pong ball and consummating their affection repeatedly.
Hannah retires to his spacious shower and is a bit flummoxed by the digital temperature control. After some time Joshua comes in, concerned, and find she's passed out in the steamed-up room. He takes her to his bed and she curls up on his lap. As he's comforting her, brushing her hair back he seems genuinely concerned and says, "Next time, call me." (is there a phone in his shower, too?)
With that, Hannah starts quietly crying. Joshua is confused and asks her what he did or missed. She tells him it's nothing and then launches into a confessional of epic proportions.
"Please don't tell anyone this. But I want to be happy," she starts out. "But then I come here and I see you and you've got the fruit in the bowl and the fridge with the stuff and the robe and you're touching me the way that -- I realize I'm not different. I want what everyone wants. I want what they all want. I want all the things. I just want to be happy."
Joshua holds Hannah in his arms and as he's kissing her hair you can see him realize that this girl he's got on his hands is a lot younger than he is. Hannah then continues to talk about herself -- and talk and talk -- and you can see the charm literally get sucked out of Joshua's eyes as he takes it all in. He tells Hannah he has to get to sleep since he's got work tomorrow and she seems hurt and shocked.
"I can't believe you're doing this," she says. "You basically begged me to tell you all my feelings .. you didn't tell me anything about you!"
She asks him if he'd like her to leave and he says no, but quietly walks out of the room.
The next morning, Hannah is alone in the beautiful, empty house. In a piano-backed montage, she silently makes herself breakfast, and reads the paper on the patio. She makes the bed. She takes in the decadent surroundings with a sigh. And she's leaving, takes out Joshua's trash. She walks down the street as the credits roll.
One technical note: I know she's footloose and fancy free, but as she's leaving Joshua’s house completely empty handed, purseless, and pocketless, I have to wonder: Does she not carry any keys or wallet? Where is her phone?
This episode was clearly a departure from the ensemble nature of "Girls." No other characters appeared and nearly all of the dialogue was Hannah's and Hannah's alone. I physically cringed as Hannah went off the rails in front of Joshua and it was obvious this tryst would be nothing more than that.
Lena Dunham clearly wanted us to root for Hannah in that "Pretty Woman" tramp-with-a-heart-of-gold-gets-rescued-by-stoic-millionaire way, but deftly pulled the rug out from under that plotline for us. Hannah is still so young and doesn't belong there. Her giddy smile at the hipster unicyclist neighbors should have been a dead giveaway.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun