We've waded through the fall TV schedule — and made it out alive!
We also found five upcoming shows we'll actually watch (sorry "Charlie's Angels." Not you.). Here's our top five.
"2 Broke Girls" (9:30 p.m. Sept. 19, CBS): Hint: It's about two broke girls — one a sardonic Brooklynite (Kat Dennings, who should star in every single TV show), one a former heiress whose dad is now in jail. They work at a restaurant together! Then move in together! And start a cupcake business together! Trust me, it's better than it seems, especially since, again, Dennings is on board.
"Prime Suspect" (10 p.m. Sept. 22, NBC): Confession: My dad used to make me watch the old Helen Mirren BBC original "Prime Suspect" when I was around 10 years old. Not entirely appropriate, since it had lots of sex and language and such. But still, that show remains a true TV classic. So I'm excited to see NBC's relaunch, with a perfectly cast Maria Bello. Even if she insists on wearing a plethora of fedoras for some reason.
"Terra Nova" (8 p.m. Sept. 26, Fox): For those waiting for "Jurassic Park: The Series," here it, kind-of, is. To be fair, there are more than dinos in this long-delayed, Steven Spielberg-produced sci-fi drama. It's about a family (led by patriarch Jason O'Mara) who must travel back to prehistoric Earth to save the human race. Not interested? A reminder: dinosaurs!
"American Horror Story" (10 p.m. Oct. 5, FX): Ryan Murphy's new series is, uh, a bit different than "Glee." It's a "psychosexual horror-mystery." And because it's on FX, they'll amp up the psycho, sexual and horror parts. Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton play a couple whose new home in L.A. has some unwanted guests. Best of all, "True Blood's" dearly departed (?) Russell Edgington and Jessica Lange co-star.
"Hell on Wheels" (10 p.m. Nov. 6, AMC): As much as AMC's latest original series sounds like a Western (post-Civil War setting, gunslinging, general dirtiness), the producers are calling it an "Eastern." Sort-of lame. But the premise sounds fresh. Set during the building of the Transcontinental Railroad, "Wheels" follows a Confederate soldier (a beardy Anson Mount) hunting for the Union soldiers who killed his wife. Vengeance! Plus, I hear there's lots of brothels, saloons and Common. Yes, the rapper co-stars.
Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel.Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun