Tonight's special entertainment on DWTS was geared toward the tween crowd.
Justin Bieber. Live. Ouch.
As Randy Jackson would say, it was a bit pitchy. And he topped off the whole mess by wearing a shiny, bedazzled purple jacket.
He fared better during his second song -- a Christmas song (wait, wasn't yesterday Halloween?) -- but that could have been because he partnered with Boyz II Men.
There's not much more to share about Bieber.
But here are a few other things we learned tonight:
* Judge Bruno Tonioli gave Rob Kardashian pointers on how to tuck his toosh in while dancing.
* Ricki Lake has injured her ribs, but her partner Derek Hough seems to keep forgetting that and picks her up for hugs.
* J.R. Martinez is not used to being in fourth place -- aka the middle of the pack. He seemed genuinely worried about landing in the bottom two, although he did not.
* Nancy Grace predicted her demise this week, saying to partner Tristan MacManus as she exited the dance floor after her Monday night jive: "You know we're toast, right?" She did land in the bottom two, but wasn't eliminated after all.
* David Arquette almost missed his cue because he was searching for a missing magic trick backstage. His magician's cha-cha didn't dazzle the audience though. So, he was sent home.
Among his parting comments: "There must be a mistake because this is my show." (No, it's Maks' show!)
Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun