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'Dancing With the Stars Results' recap, Jacoby Jones is safe, Lisa & Gleb are out

DanceBeyonceBrad PaisleyJennifer Lopez

The show opens with text telling us that last night was about the best year of their lives, but that tonight will be "The worst night ..." I really hope that's not true for any of these people.

The opening number is all the female pros and troupe members dancing to "Run the World (Girls)" by Beyonce. This routine singlehandedly keeps the red fringe industry going for another year.

Tom comments, looking over at the women taking their bows, "I love this job." And we love you, Tom.

Quick clip montage of last night's dances. All the couples are on the floor, standing in their spotlights. The first couple safe is Aly and Mark. The second couple announced safe is Zendaya and Val. The third couple to continue is Kellie and Derek. Those three, along with Jacoby have to be the season front runners already, so there's no surprise.

Brooke singles out Ingo and Kym and it seems like they might be putting them in the red spotlight of jeopardy, but it's a fakeout and they're SAFE.

Tonight's encore dance is Aly and Mark, after Len introduces it by saying that she's worked with Aly all day on her solo to improve it. I can only guess this means we're getting a super extended tumbling pass. Eh, it's not any different than last night, as far as I can tell. Including the struggling singer.

Jacoby & Karina and Sean & Peta are brought out to get their results. Tom asks Jacoby what it was like to dance for "that adorable son of yours." Jacoby says the kid is just like him, including having all his names. He adds to Len, "And he's pigeon toed, so you can't ask him to point them." Len laughs good naturedly at this.

We see a clip from last night where Karina should've gotten a flag for a false start. Where's Ed Hochuli when you need him? She started the dance as the announcer started their intro. She quickly realized her mistake and stepped back with an embarrassed shrug.

Jacoby & Karina are safe.

Tom says he always feels bad for the couple that has to dance the first dance of the evening, by way of introduction to Sean & Peta. They were disappointed with their dance last night and in a post-dance interview are fairly sure they'll be in the bottom. Tom says couples often have a gut instinct about their performance, but in this case they were wrong, because they're safe.

Tom looks pained as Brooke flubs reading the teleprompter. Now we see a bit of "backstage footage" of Bruno's "writing team." The only funny part of the skit is when the "head writer" says, "It's like writing poetry but instead of using a pen you use a bedazzled stick of dynamite." I think a bedazzled stick of dynamite is an apt description of Bruno himself.

Tom clarifies that Bruno doesn't really have "somebody else's voice in his head," but, "he does have voices in his head, but they're his own."

Brad Paisley is here to perform "Southern Comfort Zone." He would look so much cuter clean shaven. Let's get his wife, Kimberly, on it.

Brooke's in the skybox with Kellie & Derek, Zendaya & Val, and Sean & Peta. Zendaya is the tallest person in the group, besides Sean. Val keeps popping up on his tiptoes to be taller than her. It's cute.

Brilynn Rakes is a 17-year-old ballet dancer. She's been dancing as long as she can remember. Her dad says she even dances around the house. She's legally blind, with a condition known as "the dancing eyes" which she says, "Is perfect for me." What an amazing attitude. She can only see about five feet in front of her face and uses a monocular to see street signs and such.

She's surprised to find out that she's going to be dancing with Derek, her favorite dancer on the show. It's essentially a contemporary routine, but she's adding a lot of ballet touches, with foot flexes and arabesque positioning. It's a lot of lifts, some contemporary, some more balletic. It's a great routine and she's clearly thrilled to be performing.

Derek is choked up when Tom asks how it was to dance with Brilynn. That's got to give her a rush, I bet. Good on you, Derek Hough.

And now it's time for a duet featuring Andrea Bocelli and Jennifer Lopez. I fear most of JLo's singing talents are wasted on a blind man. They're singing "Quizas, Quizas, Quizas," which you might know better by its English title "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps," used as the theme song for the British sitcom "Coupling." The song was originally written in Spanish by a Cuban songwriter. The English version is not a translation, sharing mostly only the title with the original song. There, that's your "learn something new today" factoid.

In the montage of last night's outtakes, it's nice to see D.L. and Jacoby both reach out to be  encouraging to Andy. And then there's Len giving D. L. a pep talk backstage before the show.

Gleb is talking to other dancers throughout the show and divulges that Lisa's in her trailer throwing up. Lisa would rather be in her bed, but knows if she doesn't dance, she's dead. Gleb advises her just before going on to smile through the whole thing. We also see that when Gleb tosses his shirt at Bruno, Bruno gives a hearty, "Thank YOU!" Never change, Bruno, never change.

At the beginning of their routine last night, Victor was supposed to take off his gloves and his robe and forgot, so Lindsay was screaming at him from off-camera to take them off. That probably accounts for some of him being off during their performance.

D. L. & Cheryl are safe, but Andy & Sharna, Lisa & Gleb, and Victor & Lindsay are all in jeopardy.

Andy & Sharna are announced as safe, so Lisa & Gleb and Victor & Lindsay are the bottom two.

I can't think it's a coincidence that these two couples both feature new pros. At this stage in the show, 16 seasons in, getting an experienced, and fan favorite, pro is HUGE.

Lisa & Gleb are out. Lisa gives a gracious goodbye speech and there's even enough time to do a "Lisa & Gleb" goodbye montage.

Next week, the couples will dance alongside a pro couple. Ooooh, that's going to be a fun trainwreck to watch.

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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