This is our last week of DWTS this fall. Tonight, we'll lose one couple at the end of the show; tomorrow night, the champion will be declared.
The show starts with a very dramatic entry set to Avicii's "Wake Me Up." C'mon, you guys, never forget you're a cheesy dancing show. This feels like a results show from past seasons, particularly when we start with a live performance from Kellie Pickler. After that, the stars enter to a remix (or maybe a live version by the house band) of Martin Solveig's "Hello." That song always cheers me up.
There will be three rounds of competition tonight -- whoof, I'm tired just thinking about that. Can't imagine them dancing it.
Bill Engvall & Emma Slater
Cha cha cha
Bill calls Emma his new "fake daughter." Aw, sweet. The judges picked the Viennese Waltz for them; Len is the judge who visits them in the studio. Len's looking really dapper in a dark v-neck sweater with a bright pink tie showing underneath.
Emma's embraced the unfortunate red-carpet trend of bathing suit/leotard under sheer skirt. Bleech. It's a pretty dance, but Bill still doesn't belong here in the finals, if dance ability is the primary qualification.
Hey, it's Bruno's birthday! Happy birthday, you crazy Italian. Bruno tells Bill his timing is not a "Swiss watch," but that everybody can't be a Rolex, some people have to be a Timex. Tom quips, "Well, there goes one of our sponsors."
Carrie Ann spells it out that he's nowhere near the other finalists in dancing talent. She calls him the "people's choice." And that's kind of true, but if the judges aren't going to score accurately, they have no one but themselves to blame when bad dancers stick around. (Unless, of course, the producers are influencing the scores.)
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8
Corbin's worried about this judges' choice because the quickstep is one of the dances Len found too frantic when he danced it previously. Luckily, Len is in the studio for the rehearsals.
The routine starts with a seriously fake looking sepia filter. THIS ISN'T INSTAGRAM, ABC. Corbin is dressed like A Film Director From Days Gone By, complete with knee-high boots and breeches. It's interesting how much the boots highlight his footwork, which I'm not sure is as sharp as it should be. Also, I'm afraid Len is going to ding this one as being too frantic.
Len says they did calm it down a little bit, but that Corbin had problems with his left arm. When the crowd boos, Len looks bewildered -- all he did was mention a little arm issue. Bruno points out that they went out of sync.
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9
That's a one-point improvement from the last time they did quickstep.
Jack Osbourne & Cheryl Burke
They get a visit from Bruno, who's wearing cowboy boots and a shirt that's unbuttoned halfway down his chest. Never change, Tonioli. Jack is practicing in suspenders, so I can only imagine that's going to be part of the choreography.