Oh, OK, their song is "Roxanne" so the pimp/ho thing makes more sense.

Carrie Ann says it was outside Jack's comfort zone because it was not in hold, like most of ballroom. She points out that his weight was held in a ballroom stance, not a jazz one. Len liked his commitment, but thought the dance lacked finesse. Bruno starts flirting with Maks. Bruno then explains the difference between jazz and ballroom in movement.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Maks: 9; Bruno: 8

Bill Engvall & Emma Slater

Cha cha cha

Bill is giving it his best, but the semi-finals can't be about "A for effort." They end the routine shooting off confetti things and Emma almost shoots Tom in the face. Whoops.

Maks opens with "Why? Why? Why? You're a lot of people's inspiration." He adds that he doesn't believe in talent, but in hard work. Maks says there were a lot of holes in the routine. Bill says, "You think?"

Len congratulates Emma on her choreography throughout the season -- that's high praise for a rookie pro. Carrie Ann says she has to be picky because it's the semi-finals and she's taking points off for footwork, timing and a whole bunch of other things.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 7; Maks: 7; Bruno: 7

Those should have been sixes -- both for the quality of the routine compared to what else is being danced tonight, and to widen the gap between them and the better contestants so that fan votes can't save them.

Amber Riley & Derek Hough

Jazz

Amber's doctor explains that there's no risk of permanent damage to her knees, so she's ready to go all-out. Nevertheless, Derek is doing intricate choreography that will still manage to spare her knees.

That choreography involves a lot of work with a table and two office chairs at the beginning of the routine. They're both wearing white gloves, the better to see their jazz hands.  That was a fun routine and I loved how into-it Amber was.

Len's first and only comment is, "Do it again." Bruno said it was surprising, amazingly in-sync, and that Amber's versatility is terrific. Carrie Ann says it was Einstein dancing. Oooh-kay. Maks namechecks Fosse again.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Len: 10; Maks: 9; Bruno: 10

Huh. Maks didn't say anything to indicate that he was going to score lower than the other judges. Wonder what that was all about.

Round Two

The second round is "stripped down" versions of the songs from the first round to new dance styles. Based on the preview clips, it also appears to be life history and "tragic backstory interview" time. Blech. Y'all, I just can't bear to recap the sob stories in too much detail. I'll try to sum them up in one sentence.

Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani