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'Dancing With the Stars' recap, Jacoby Jones crowned prom king (and 'best farter')

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Last night was "Prom Night" -- hope none of you are hungover, locked up, or pregnant this morning.

They're playing Flo Rida, but it's Huey Lewis I see up on the stage. HUEY! HUEY! HUEY!

Now, we're recapping last night and I am again twice subjected to Andy Dick's naked torso. They should warn us about such things.

Apparently, the Twitter-chosen Prom King and Queen get two extra bonus points. And the King and Queen are Jacoby and Zendaya!

I'm not at all surprised about Zendaya -- I saw her hashtag in the US Trending Topics last night on Twitter. And it must be more than just Baltimore that's feeling the Jacoby love. As a bonus, Tom tells both of them they're also safe from elimination.

And now, it's time for HUEY! Huey Lewis & the News are releasing a 30th anniversary expanded edition of their classic album Sports. TRUE STORY: I have a friend who's from England and lives in London. She's a HUGE Huey Lewis & the News fan, but had never seen them perform live. So, she flew all the way to Naperville, Illinois (outside Chicago) to go to Ribfest with me to see them. The best part? She's a vegetarian.

Anyway, they're playing maybe my least favorite song from the album, "The Heart of Rock 'n' Roll." I would've hoped for "If This Is It" or "Heart and Soul" but I get why they did this one. By the way, if you ever, ever get the chance to see Huey Lewis & the News live, whether or not it's at a Ribfest, do. They're a TREMENDOUS live act. Great musicians, tight band, and the crowd is with them start to finish. They'll also occasionally rework old songs in a way that doesn't make you go, "Oh, I wish they'd just played it like the album."

Now we see a "Prom Week Photo Booth" and they give out awards: Andy Dick is the "Class Clown." "Except when he cries," Ingo points out. Oooh, mean. But true. Andy says Lisa is "Most Likely to Flirt with the Judges." Lisa says Derek is the Hottest Guy. Cheryl asks "Who is the black guy on the show who has no rhythm?" D. L. waves his hand sheepishly.

Kellie and Derek are wearing enormous glasses and when Kellie says she's the most likely to hit someone and puts up her fists, Derek asks, "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?"

Lindsay says Victor is the one Most Likely to Talk Back to the Judges and she's always reminding him to be quiet when they're getting their feedback from the judges.

Karina identifies Jacoby as "the best farter." And then they show him letting one rip in the rehearsal studio. JACOBY RASHI'D JONES! We have seen your mother and I'm pretty sure she brought you up better than that! I kid, I kid. … But seriously, ewwww.

Brooke explains that because the audience choose the Prom King and Queen, the judges get to pick tonight's encore dance. Len says that he and Carrie Ann couldn't decide, so they left it up to Bruno.

Then the camera pans over to Bruno and he's not there. And, yes, it's the YMCA routine again, with Bruno as the "biker." I totally approve of us getting to see Bruno dancing. Someday, I'd love to see Len do a routine. Maybe a tango?

Bruno comes out at the end for the finishing pose. And I have to say, Bruno's in good shape still. Tom kids him about his "four pack" and Bruno protests that he works on it. Tom says, "I know you do." It's kinda nice to think these people might actually like each other in addition to working together.

Tom mentions that they have cameras everywhere, all the time, and we see footage of Len giving himself a pep talk in the hallway out to the ballroom last night. I don't know if this is real or staged, but it's funny. Especially when a young female employee bumps into him and he says, "Don't touch what you can't afford, sunshine."

Now here's Kellie and Derek to get their results. They show some footage of Kellie situating herself for the beginning of her routine last night and she strikes up a conversation with the audience members seated around her spot. She really does seem genuinely nice. She's not so great at doing math in her head, as proven by their post-dance interview. Hey, I can't do it sometimes when it's on a page in front of me, as readers have been more than happy to point out to me in the past. Anyway, Kellie and Derek are safe.

Tom's got D. L. and Cheryl on stage with him and we see footage of D. L. saying that he thinks Len took the criticism too far last night. Len says that he's been "kind" this season and that actually he was generous last night. Stand up for yourself, Len! You're a judge and you're judging. Suck it up, D. L. Which he's going to have to do again at least for another week because he and Cheryl are safe.

Now it's an all-male dance routine to "Seven Nation Army" aka the Ravens' unofficial fight song of late. They better be careful or Jacoby may try to run 108 yards across the ballroom.

More couples, more results: Sean and Peta are safe. Lisa and Gleb are in jeopardy. Victor and Lindsay are safe. Andy and Sharna are in jeopardy.

There's a big debate about whether or not celebrity men or women have an easier time on DWTS. Female celebrities have gotten a higher percentage of the perfect scores. The average score for women is higher, too. And men have won 8 seasons and women 7.

Tony argues that female celebrities have it harder because they're going backwards and are blind. Karina thinks male celebrities have it harder because they have to lead. Derek says that's bull because the female pros prop up the male celebrities during the routine. I think the challenges are different but equally difficult.

Macy's Stars of Dance performance. Tom explains that they taped it before the live show began and says we'll understand why they did that way when we see it. My curiosity is duly piqued.

Oh, wow. It's mesmerizing. It's one of those things where they danced it forwards but we're seeing it played in reverse. Like, we see scarves and umbrellas fly off the floor up into the hands of the dancers. The one thing I can't figure out is the slide to the side of the stage. I have no idea how they made the one guy look like he was sliding up it and then moments later the three guys were sliding down it. It must have been very clever editing or something, but it made my brain go all funny.  

Really really a cool performance. Absolutely worth hunting down and watching if you missed the show on tv.

Now Demi Lovato sings and I feel old.

More results: Aly and Mark are safe. Ingo and Kym are safe. Wynonna and Tony are in jeopardy.

The three "in jeopardy" couples are on stage. The couple announced as safe are Lisa and Gleb. This means Wynonna & Tony and Andy & Sharna were the bottom two in scores/votes.

Wynonna and Tony are going home. Whew. If she's not relieved, I am on her behalf. She looked liked she'd stopped having fun, maybe after Week 1. And this show is, as much as it can be inspirational or redemptive, first and foremost about fun. I mean, have you SEEN that mirrorball trophy?

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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