Scores: Carrie Ann: 6; Len: 6; Bruno: 6

Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: Contemporary
He's played Jax on "General Hospital" for 18 years and is an accomplished athlete. Did Kym get to go to Hawaii for their "first meeting" segment? That's a win right there.

I can't say I'm happy about the addition of "Contemporary" to the "DWTS" stable of dance styles. I think it's mostly just an excuse for people to dance barefoot and not have to point their toes.

Because they're dancing to Coldplay's "Yellow," the yellow gels are on the lights and it manages to look like sunshine instead of making them look jaundiced. Well done, lighting guys.

Carrie Ann explains that Contemporary includes elements of modern lines, contact improv, ballet and lifts. She thought the routine was "raw" and "passionate." Aw, they show Ingo's son in the audience and he's the cutest thing. Len complains that Kym's feet were in the air more than they were on the floor. Len is with me in not loving Contemporary. Stick with me and Len, we'll lead you down the coot path. Bruno loved it.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 6; Bruno: 7

I'm thinking that score from Len was more about not liking Contemporary than him not liking the routine.

Lisa Vanderpump & Gleb Savchenko: Foxtrot
Apparently this Vanderpump person has a furry barnacle named Giggy? I wonder if there's a term for the sore arm you must get constantly carrying around your tiny dog — like tennis elbow, but "Air dog bicep" maybe?

Oh my gosh. I thought that was a plush toy dog she had in her arms descending the staircase. But given that a stagehand dressed as a bellhop came in and took it away from her, it must have been the actual living creature. I may have to start a "Free Giggy" campaign.

The Foxtrot was probably one of the best dances Lisa could've drawn for the first week. It's a dance that's kind to the Women of a Certain Age.

Len calls it "acceptable" but not exceptional. He says there was "too much staggering about."
Carrie Ann says the dance suited her, but she was out of sync a little bit. Lisa says something off-color that I can't make out. It makes Carrie Ann erupt in a fit of giggles.

After the break, the "bellhop" brings Giggy up to the crow's nest to be reunited with Lisa. I still can't believe that's a live dog. I'm worried maybe his leg muscles have completely atrophied over the years. #FreeGiggy.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 6; Len: 6; Bruno: 6

D.L. Hughley and Cheryl Burke: Cha Cha Cha
Apparently D.L. grew up in South Central Los Angeles and was in a gang before comedy saved him. I'm totally digging his preppy style in the interview segments.

Ooh, this is not good. I mean, it's Kenny Mayne levels of bad. If D.L. makes it far, Cheryl's got her work cut out for her with this one. He's not even making the "club" moves look good.

Bruno says he "terminated" the dance. He doesn't mean it in a good way. He comments that the timing was off throughout most of the routine. Carrie Ann can only say "Yikes" and "Whoa." Len calls it "rough" and tells D.L. he's going to have to "work his butt off."

D.L. says he hasn't danced in 30 years, so the judges' comments were like "bullying a second grader." He's joking, but I feel compelled anyway to point out that the judges were judging. Let's save the word "bullying" for actual bullying.

D.L. also jokes out that comes from a place where you want the judges to give you a low number. Ha!

Scores: Carrie Ann: 4; Len: 4; Bruno: 4

Terrible, but deserved. And has me wondering what you'd have to do to get a 1.