Carrie Ann: 10
Len: 10
Bruno: 10. 

As if there was any doubt.

Katherine and Mark are jiving to "Splish Splash." Of course Mark takes a jive routine as an excuse to bust out a breakdance move that pulls the spotlight entirely on to him while Katherine's in the background. That's the thing I dislike most about Mark - how often he needlessly pulls focus from the star he's supposed to be supporting. Bruno and Carrie Ann liked it, Len calls Katherine "the complete package."

Carrie Ann: 10
Len: 10
Bruno: 10 

Knock me over with a feather.

Donald and Peta up now with their cha cha, and Donald loves us because he gets the shirt off almost immediately. Aside from him being an attractive man, I kind of enjoy watching how a well-muscled body moves while executing these dance moves. It's like a lesson in anatomy and how our bodies work. Guess what? Guess what? The judges like it. Scores: Carrie Ann: 10, Len: 10, Bruno: 10. My jaw is on the floor.

Gladys Knight is here to sing "The Way We Were" - hush now, y'all, I'm gonna listen.  Donald is FEELING it. Katherine is about to bawl - whether from seeing the images projected on the screen or just general nerves getting the best of her.

Third place: William and Cheryl. HOLY EXPLETIVE! I didn't expect that AT ALL. Aw, they show William's little boy and he seems to be crying.  It's OK, kid; Dad's still hot and will have even more fans coming out of this than he came in with.

So who wins the Mirror Ball trophy? Katherine really looks like she might cry or throw up or both. DONALD AND PETA WIN!  And Donald goes ABSOLUTELY nuts — flinging himself literally around the stage in joy. Trophy, streamers! Donald's beautiful wife and cute, cute kids!  Donald's littlest looks upset by all the noise.  But she's dressed in hot pink like Dad and STILL ADORABLE.