Scores: Carrie Ann: 8.5 Len: 9.5; Bruno: 9

So, not quite as all over the map, but still a lot of variation.

Sabrina Bryan &  Louis van Amstel

Shawn picked "So This is Love" from Cinderella because she's still got princess issues to work out. Sabrina's having a hard time in rehearsals with the vulnerability and softness the waltz requires.

Instead of the usual introduction, Voice Over Guy says, "Once upon a time in a land far, far away." Cute. Sabrina's arms and hands are really beautiful, highlighted by the white opera gloves she's wearing.

Len loved the story and the flow of it and adds that it was charming. Bruno's going nuts with his arm movements, so much so that Len gets out of his chair to be outside striking distance. He cautions Sabrina about her shoulders. Carrie Ann doesn't think she quite got to vulnerability, but that it was elegance personified.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 10; Len: 9.5; Bruno: 9.5

Group routine

Team Gangnam style is clearly going to be not as technically challenging as last night's crew, but they're going to make up for it with enthusiasm.

They've decided to order their solos according to ability/scores, so Kirstie goes first, and I don't know how the other three are evaluating themselves. Maks and Gilles have a little alpha male competition. Kirstie says their dance is so "wild" that they're "all going to end up in an institution."

I expect any moment to get a call from my parents needing an explanation about Gangnam style. Which will be easy enough, as it's a meme I've managed to avoid almost entirely.

So, they're all in brightly colored suits, with each couple matching one another. And sunglasses. Oh, and all the women have on black short bobbed wigs.

It starts with them marching out and doing some standard twirl, present, repeat moves. Although at one point, all the women bend over and poor Kirstie is in front and I'm fairly sure she wouldn't have chosen to have her backside on display in unflattering hot pink trousers.

The first solo is Kirstie and Maks and they rip off their suits, for reasons I don't understand, so that Maks is wearing a mesh cutoff shirt, little green shorts, and striped tube socks. And Kirstie is in a tank top and leggings that are also not the most flattering thing she could be asked to wear. Her shirt says Gangnam, and when she turns around we see "Style" on her backside. They do a couple of awkward cartwheel turns and then shake their booties and then get down on all fours and I swear this sounds like I'm on drugs but I'm not.

Emmitt and Cheryl rip off their suits to reveal Emmitt in an undershirt and yellow shorts and knee pads. While Cheryl is in a blue slip/dress. They do that weird side-to-side gallop that's part of Gangnam, then Emmitt gets down on all fours and Cheryl does the cowboy moves above him, and then they both get up and Emmitt slides across the floor Hammer-style.

Then when he and Cheryl meet up again, she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist and it's more cowboy kind of moves. This just makes no sense and it's awful and fantastic at the same time.

Val rips off his suit, so that he's shirtless and Kelly's wearing sequined hot pants. Then Kelly pretends to smack Val's tush. And then there's lots of spinning. Lots of spinning. More spinning. And then Kelly's in Val's arms and spinning. More spinning. And pose, and done.

And finally, Peta and Gilles rip off their suits, to reveal only towels. That's right, Peta has three towels, one on her head, turban-style, one around her breasts and one around her waist. Gilles, thankfully, only has the one. And it is small. I love being pandered to like this.

Although, Gilles is still wearing the black dance shoes with his tiny towel, which is completely unsexy. At one point, Peta does a handstand in front of Gilles and he splits her legs apart, then looks down and back up with an "O" of shock on his face. I swear this really happened. And then there's more Gangnam style moves.  

Then all four couples are back on stage to do the weird Gangnam things. There's lots of hip thrusting and they've wisely put Gilles and Tiny Towel in the front. And then for some reason, garbage is blown at them all over the stage -- like cardboard and packing peanuts and stuff. And then there's more thrusting and bouncing and then they all collapse on the floor. At which point, Tiny Towel becomes my new hero by slipping open. But Tiny Towel is thwarted by the evil villain Modesty Shorts. I shake my tiny fist of anger at Modesty Shorts.