"In Croatia, it's customary to ride donkeys into battle."
Emily packs her baggage (Ricki) and sends it back to Charlotte, so she can "focus on the guys" in Croatia. From the scenic shots of the city, it's definitely a place we want to visit -- mountains, beaches, castles and lots of well-groomed stray cats.
Ostrich Egg gets his big chance
Sarah: Poor Travis ("Ostrich Egg"). He hasn't dated since his engagement ended two years ago and now he's falling for Emily even though this is their first date. They predictably stroll through historic Dubrovnik and enjoy a creepy dinner in a candle-lit castle. She asks a few softball questions, which had he watched the previous episodes, he would realize that he was going home. And he did. She said he was a great friend, but they were lacking romance. He cried.
Chris: Chin up, Travis. If you're looking for a bland, blond girl with little to no personality, you should be able to find her within a week after returning to Mississippi. P.S. where can I buy the ultra fashionable wife beater that Ryan was wearing in the hotel?
Group date becomes plug for Disney's "Brave"
Sarah: John ("Wolf"), Single Dad Doug, Shawn ("Biceps"), Jef ("Jerry Lee Lewis"), Chris ("Bobble Head") and Arie ("Speed Racer") accompany Emily to see Disney's "Brave." After way too many movie clips and reviews from the bachelors, they don kilts and ride donkeys into a field for the "Highland Games:" archery, log tossing and some kind of tug-o-war with a big stick. Even though Shawn won all the events, Emily awards Chris the "Bravest" trophy (and later a rose) because he was the most pathetic, but kept smiling. I would have preferred the "Hunger Games."
Chris: I wonder if whoever kisses Emily first on the group date later trash talks to the other contestants. Like, "nom nom taste my tongue." Emily must enjoy Chris' bifurcated tongue since she gave him the rose.
Everybody hates Ryan
Sarah: After spending three hours preparing his body hair for the date, Ryan ("Fluff Head") leaves with Emily for a road trip down the coast. She doesn't say much in the car (probably because she is too busy fearing for her life with him behind the wheel).
She's on the verge of tears during the entire dinner, while Ryan goes on and on about what he's looking for in a relationship. He reads her a list of the 12 things he's looking for in a wife, which boils down to one big thing broken down into 12 words -- a trophy wife. Emily doesn't give him the rose because she can sense just that -- and I am shocked, but thrilled. His facial hair angers me.
Chris: Ryan and his stenciled beard almost broke Emily's resolve. Over the course of the past six weeks, Ryan's poof has grown with his confidence. Thankfully, Emily saw through his intricate hygiene and booted him back to Georgia.
Now that Ryan's gone, why is there drama at the rose ceremony?
Sarah: Is it necessary to have framed pictures of the remaining contestants in a shrine set up with candles? Can't she just use a spreadsheet, or her brain? The production staff knows whom she's going to pick and in what order before she even starts the rose ceremony. So don't think you can fool us by having Emily walk off with one rose left to consult Chris Harrison. Though, they did trick me into thinking she was kicking off Single Dad Dog and John -- she kept them both.
Chris: Shouldn't Single Dad Dog and John have realized that she only gets rid of two guys each week? Doug's kid is going to get beat up at summer camp tomorrow since his dad cried on national TV.
The Remaining Men
Arie, 30 "Speed Racer" -- In our final two.
Chris, 25 "Bobble Head" -- Or should we change his name to Lizard Face? Or Lieutenant Dan? Or Skinny Girl Lips?
Doug, 33 "Single Dad Doug" -- Thoughts on him? Is he condescending or just smarter than everyone else?
Jef, 27 "Jerry Lee Lewis" -- Even though they are the same age, I feel like she's breaking the law when they kiss.
John, 30 "Wolf" -- Just get rid of this guy already. Waste of space. Are you really going to introduce him to your friends as Wolf?
Sean, 28 "Biceps" -- The underdog in our final two.Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun