By Ericka Alston
8:49 AM EST, January 15, 2013
Tonight started with a shower scene and a CHEST!
4,582 -- yep, that's about where I lost count of the times ABC blessed us with close-ups of our Bachelor Sean Lowe's bare, shirtless, glowing, absolutely amazing chest.
I'm sorry, where was I?
Had I played a drinking game tonight while watching, this recap would've been a bit more ... colorful. Doing a shot for each time Sean bared his beautiful pecks for the camera (and another shot for each time the camera showed Sean's hand on one of the ladies' knees) -- I would surely fail a breathalyzer.
"My wife was in that room last night," Sean said, recapping last week's premiere. Still very optimistic we head into week two.
Kristy has the honor of opening the very first envelope, revealing the first one-on-one date. It's Sarah! Clearly a favorite from last week. Lots of us wondered how she'd fare, as her ultimate goal is to win Sean's heart and be given a fair chance against the lovely ladies born with two arms.
Sean treated her like he would have any other lady: Romantic helicopter ride, landing atop a very tall building, champagne toast. The two of them look over the edge and Sean reveals that the date is actually a 300-foot free fall to the ground. Sarah freaks out.
My personal reaction: Huh? First date, dude, and you want me to what?
Sean made Sarah feel super safe: hand on knee, hair stroking, arms around each other. He stopped and waited until she was comfortable and jumped. What a date!
As the date continues, there is conversation about something Sarah's dad told her as a young girl, after she was refused an opportunity to zip-line because it required two arms: "find a man that is strong enough to protect you and that will be there for you for times like this."
I personally think Sarah made that whole conversation up and her voice really started to annoy me. Sarah we like you, but shhhh, less talking. Red wine, more conversation, sealed with a kiss and a rose. You've done well, Sarah, and you're safe.
The date ended with Sean telling Sarah that he wouldn't have wanted to spend that date with anyone but her and Sarah telling us that she feels like she's falling in love with him. (Always the strangest part to me. Really? One date, falling in love? I'm clearly dating the wrong guys.)
Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Leslie M, Daniella, Catherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Tarryn, Tierra and Kacie are all given the opportunity to be driven to a castle for a photo shoot with the chance to land a three book cover deal with Sean as the leading man featured on the cover of Harlequin Romance Novels. What a score.
There's a catch, though: One lady had to capture the most chemistry with the leading man. The ladies all brought their A game and we begin to see the little funnel that will soon become the eye of the tornado -- Miss Tierra.
Leslie M. was leading the pack, with her country western outfit, horse, cowboy, shirts being ripped off and chemistry, so much chemistry the photographer asked that Leslie M and Sean kiss. Whoa. If looks could kill, eyes rolled, hearts dropped and dreams of being Mrs. Lowe were shattered for 12 onlookers.
Sean is "feelin'" Leslie, looks like a match has been made. Can't wait to see how far these two go.
After Leslie M. it was clear that all the ladies needed to step their game up and they did. One lady told us all she'd win this challenge and she did not disappoint. Kudos to Christy for a very hot, steamy, sexy dance scene with Sean. We all felt the heat -- everyone watching on TV and especially all the ladies, who were tortured by having to stand there and watch the magic happen. Christy won the challenge.
"Girl you can have the book covers, I'm here for the man," Selma said.
The photo shoot ends with a pool party and all of the women vying for some one-on-one time with The Bachelor. Leslie M. gets her alone time with Sean first, well of course she did -- we all saw how much he was digging her.
Sean asked what was Leslie's real reason for being on the show (as if she'd say she was hoping to score her own reality show one day). Leslie replied "Love, I'm here for love, I'm hopeful."
Bad body language, awkward silence, chats about the weather, the house and other time wasting nonsense, amounted to an epic fail! Alone time and no kiss. Huh?
One-on-one time over and then she notices no kiss and spends the next 10 minutes telling us about it. We know, we saw. Fail.
After realizing she should have taken that time to kiss him, we all stand and applaud as this "traditional southern girl" went back for her man and planted one on him. Great save, Leslie. America is pleased, but Daniella who stood by and watched it all, is not. Sorta what happens when you sit around spying on others instead of devising your own game plan, Daniella?
Kacie gets some alone time and takes full advantage of the moment and asks Sean if he'd consider her more than a friend? Kacie gets a rose and an invite out of the friend zone into the girlfriend zone.
"I'm vegan but I love the beef," said Catherine, as if we were all sharing a table at the all-you-can-eat buffet tonight. We all love the beef!
Tierra: Sweet, genuine, honest, sincere, nut case. Clearly suffering from multiple personalities. There's the Tierra that the ladies in the house have come to hate. The Tierra that looks into a camera and talks to us and the sweet one that shows up when she's alone with Sean. Tierra is playing the game, ladies. You all better shape up or ship out -- this one wants the man.
Date Card. One-on-One date: Desiree.
Sean has been very vocal about how much he likes Des. This week Des really showed she's the one to watch.
Sean played a mean prank on Des and she was more than a good sport about it. Can you imagine being tricked to believe that you've broken a 1.5 million dollar piece of art while out on your first date with the man you'd like to call hubby one day? He got her good and she was awesome about it, which actually made Sean like Des more -- didn't think that was possible so soon, did ya?
Time in the pool alone, lots of kissing and ultimately Des gets a rose and Sean says that Des has every quality that he wants in a wife and get this, also every quality he wants in his best friend. Are those wedding bells I hear?
We bid Namaste to the yoga instructor who decided she just couldn't handle the heat and needed out of the kitchen immediately. Sean didn't make one attempt to talk her into staying yet, instead offered to walk her to the car. After of course Kacie shared that she was thrilled that a lady was checking out voluntarily. Less competition. Namaste, yoga lady.
Our crazy chick of the week award goes to Amanda! Most of the show Amanda appeared to have been in a vegetative state, unresponsive, staring into space, comatose, dead ... crazy; until Sean comes around and suddenly she's full of life and the bubbly life of the party. I'd really like to know where these casting calls were held and what was the criterea to get on the show this year. Cute, bubbly, nice body and nuts?
Robyn, our tumbler from last week, decided to raise race relations as a topic -- I think Sean shocked us all when he told us that his last girlfriend was black! I may have stood up in the center of my bed and clapped. Really, Sean? Awesome. He went on to tell Robyn that he personally asked that the show provide more "diversity" -- that the woman he was looking to make his wife wasn't any particular color, just that she be beautiful on the inside. We like this bachelor a lot. Stick around for a while Robyn -- just don't try anymore back flips.
Dates over, wonderful night, almost everyone is happy, time for the rose ceremony.
Tonight we say goodbye to Brooke and single mommy Diana. In true gentleman form Sean tells Diana, he didn't want to keep her away from her girls if he wasn't certain that there would be something long term. Good one dude. We knew she wasn't going to last long.
Champagne toast and we get a peek into next week, more crazy on tap. You know where to find me, sitting Indian style in the middle of my bed. Til next week folks, Namaste.
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