By Sarah Haller and Chris Kinling
8:58 AM EDT, September 4, 2012
"Bachelor Pad's" second to last episode was last night. While thrilled that "Bachelor Pad" was the perfect segue between the Summer Olympics and football, we're none to happy about the scheduling of the finale -- the same time as the Ravens' first game.
The amount of crying and open mouth stares on this week's previews can only mean that the apocalypse has hit. Turns out, it's just another twist. Shocker!
Sarah: The apocalyptic stares from the preview were actually the contestants seeing the challenge for the first time -- a giant crane-like contraption with seats dangling over the pool. One partner must answer trivia questions correctly in order to keep their dangling partner's rope intact. The winner of this challenge didn't receive roses; instead they got to decide which couple to send home immediately (the crying part).
Chris: Once again Chris ("Lt. Dan") and Sarah ("Praying Mantis") come out on top in a competition that relies heavily upon useless "Bachelor" knowledge. After weighing the pros and cons of sending each couple home, they decided on Tony ("Slug") and Blakeley ("Cougar"). I was actually pulling for them because I feel sorry for Tony and Blakeley probably needs the money more than anyone else. At least they still have each other ... or so Tony thinks.
Rock of Ages fail
Sarah: Without a break, the contestants head directly to their next challenge at Hollywood's Palladium. They walk into a Night Ranger performance and learn that they must perform "Sister Christian" to a live audience with only 24 hours to rehearse. The couple with the best performance, as determined by Night Ranger, wins roses and will compete in the finale. No one had the best performance -- Rachel ("Snaggle Tooth") looked like she was about to cry, Ed ("Adam Corolla") and Jaclyn ("Muppet") forgot the words and humped onstage even though the song is about a brother giving his sister advice and Sarah's dancing was just absolutely insane.
Chris: Apparently the members of Night Ranger needed to make a mortgage payment. The contestants sounded worse than the 2 a.m. crowd at a karaoke sushi bar. Nick ("Widow Snatcher") and Rachel pull of the victory with the least aurally offensive rendition and thankfully steered clear of any incestuous interpretations.
Sarah: Since there are only three couples left, Rachel and Nick must choose which couple they want to bring with them to the finale. The previously booted contestants will decide on the winning couple. We saw this coming, but at least they didn’t show Jaclyn’s entire meltdown in the previews -- it was like an amazing telenovela with Chris Harrison in the background.
Chris: Doesn't Jaclyn understand the concept of this game? Hook up and get money. Rachel and Nick chose Sarah and Chris since most people dislike them, thereby giving them the win. Can't wait to see what Chris Harrison describes as the "most shocking and most disturbing 'Bachelor Pad' finale." It better be worth missing the game.
The final two couples
Nick ("Widow Snatcher") & Rachel ("Snaggle Tooth") -- Nick turns out to be a real power player. Too bad his partner is the biggest crybaby in the history of "Bachelor Pad."
Chris ("Lt. Dan") & Sarah ("Praying Mantis") -- they've got our vote. Even though they are both atrocious human beings, they understand the point of this game. We also appreciate that they haven't wasted our time with whining and crying.
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