By Zach Sparks
8:47 AM EST, January 17, 2013
As the saying goes, "two is better than one." Though I'm not sure the adage was meant for weapon-wielding psychopaths.
Kit was the original alleged Bloody Face and for a moment, the opening scene on this week's American Horror Story had viewers believing he would live up to that accusation.
But do we really need another Bloody Face running rampant? Ryan Murphy decided no.
Kit was only serving as a disguise for the real murderer: Alma. With one thrust of the axe Alma managed to kill Grace in the same way Grace murdered her own family.
Can you say karma?
Before the homicide, Kit was enjoying a polygamist lifestyle with Grace, Alma and two children. Throw in Ann B. Davis as his maid and you could say he had the perfect life.
But that lifestyle came to an end when Alma got tired of Grace's talk of embracing their abduction experiences and one day allowing their kids to be visited by aliens.
After seeing the movie "Prometheus" and what aliens can potentially do to humans, I don't blame Alma.
Alma ends up in Briarcliff, where she eventually dies of heart failure and Kit ends up a single father with long sideburns. Not exactly happily ever after, but at least there's hope for Lana Winters, right?
Her book "Maniac" is a bestseller. Check. Thredson is no longer a threat. Check.
Things seem to be going well for Lana, but can she find happiness when she's devoting all her time to book signings?
Lana has become a cash cow, putting fame on a higher pedestal than integrity and honesty. Kit attends a book signing and tells Lana this himself by calling his former fellow inmate "hard."
"I have a perspective on the stinted male psyche that no one else has. I lived it," Lana says.
"You swore to Jude that you were going to be a reporter, not a cheap celebrity," Kit replies.
Kit also tells Lana that Jude's death certificate was a fake and that the former nun still resides at Briarcliff. During their coffee chat, he does neglect to mention that her mind has gone softer than Goldilocks' porridge.
Welcome to wonderland
Lana thinks Jude is dead and if Jude were asked herself, she probably wouldn't know if she were alive either.
The monsignor requests a minute alone with Jude. As he speaks, she says she doesn't hear anything, which is strange because crazy people usually complain of too many voices in their heads.
The monsignor calls Jude childish for ignoring her. "I'm the queen of candy land," she responds.
Timothy Howard pulled out all the stops in his revenge on Jude, including renaming her Betty Drake.
Maybe if he punished people who deserved it (like killer Santa Lee Emerson), he wouldn't have such a bad track record and would never have been found pleading for mercy while hanging from a cross.
The monsignor also tells "Betty" that he's leaving Briarcliff to become the Cardinal of New York and the asylum will be donated to the state.
Did churches not do background checks in the 1960s? The monsignor has allowed countless patients to die under his watch and for this he gets a promotion.
Before he leaves, Timothy Howard promises to end his captivity of Jude: "I'm going to get you out. The cruelty ends here."
"The cruelest thing of all is false hope," Jude responds.
It doesn't take a genius to see through the monsignor. Just ask pinball-headed Pepper.
"You know you can't put stock into his promises Jude," she says.
No one likes a bully
There's some new competition for Jude in Briarcliff in the form of a new patient who looks like the Angel of Death. She wastes no time in offering Jude an ultimatum.
"Most of my victims were living on government checks anyway. You can either rule this roost with me or be just one more cluck. Think it over."
Jude doesn't get that time to think it over because soon after, she watches the new patient stab an inmate for taking his pills against her wishes. Then Jude gets stuck rooming with the vixen.
"Everyone knows there's only one way out of Briarcliff and it's not the front door," she says to Jude. "Everything in this cell belongs to me. That includes you."
Before the two patients can have an epic "Kill Bill" fight scene, Jude ends up blacking out in a dreamlike state. She wakes two-and-a-half years later during a physical spat with another roommate, with the last ounce of her sanity removed.
Jude meets with a doctor, who tells her how much time has passed, reminds her that the monsignor is the Cardinal of New York and informs her of Pepper's death.
And this time, there is no fake death certificate.
Bloody Face Jr. visits a store in search of an autographed copy of "Maniac" by Lana Winters. When the book's owner is unwilling to part with it, Bloody Face Jr. delivers a classic spiel.
"You're going to give me that book. Because it's my fate to have it. You see, I have a plan to meet my mother. And when I see her I'm going to greet her with a polite 'Hello Ms. Winters. Do you know who I am?' And she'll shake her head in ignorance. And then I'll present this book of lies. And then I'll say, 'I'm in your book. Except I didn't die.'
"'I'm the piece of trash you threw away 48 years ago. I'm your son.' Once she fully understands who it is standing in front of her, I'll take out my 9mm handgun, point it to her face and pull the trigger. And finally, I would have completed my father's work. But first, I'm going to need that book."
As if we needed any further proof of Jude's crippled mental state, there's a scene where she's watching TV and thinks the show is about her life. "One of these days, I'm going to fly my ass right out of here!" she screams.
Lana shares her clever Lee Emerson book title with Kit: "Santa and the Seven Nuns." This happens after she tells Kit that the released killer Santa murdered seven nuns after being released from Briarcliff.
What to expect for the finale
Jude will prove she has some sanity left as she dons her nun outfit again, dressed for her last fight against the evil of Briarcliff.
After 40 years of lying about her son's existence, Lana plans to reveal the truth, but Bloody Face Jr. will be an unexpected guest during the confession.
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