The Evolution of Crazy
John and Jessica are delivered to the correct address but they walk into residence No. 3 instead of No. 2. They wander into a friendly local's backyard where he has some dried flowers spread out on a mat. I don't know what he's making, but he's making something. John takes charge, assuming that the man is demonstrating what they need to build. The man doesn't speak English and doesn't stop them.
John and Jessica build a tiny leaf boat filled with flowers, and he tops it off with some sort of breath mint because he's getting into the spirit of the thing. The friendly local then tops it off with a flower and a smile. He doesn't give them a clue, though, so they reread their instructions.
Oh, they are supposed to be wearing sarongs! Somehow they find sarongs, probably borrowing them from the friendly local. They look for a procession but don't see it, so finally they bring their cab driver in to interpret. He tells them that they're in the wrong place. Oops.
Across the street, John and Jessica find other teams building fruit. He talks a lot about being careful and meticulous, but when they ask the judge if they pass, the judge says no. John's head begins to explode.
Feeling stressed, John insists that they begin again because their fruit wasn't forming a pyramid. He seems to be overthinking, and he criticizes Jessica for not being careful enough. She wonders if they should use the Express Pass, but he says no because other teams are struggling, too.
At some point they decide to switch Detours. As they walk away, John tells Jessica to slow down, because "hasty hasn't worked for us so far." He wants smart and steady. It looks like they've been smart and steady, just thrown off and slowly deteriorating.
They drive to the river, assuming that the Roller Moms took that option because they weren't at the flowers. It's true, but the Moms have finished already. John assumes that the Moms are behind them, so they complete the Detour. Slow and steady, maybe with a little crying and panicking by Jessica.
By the time John and Jessica reach the Roadblock, the Moms are gone. It's John versus Chuck, but John assumes the Moms are still behind. Chuck chooses a board while John still searches. Jessica freaks out and feels ill because they haven't used the Express Pass.
Chuck finds the right board! He and Wynona are Team Number Eight!
Jessica is still waiting for John to choose a board when suddenly he meets up with her, not carrying any board at all. He says that he didn't recognize any stickers, and he wants to be smart, and he thinks one team is still behind him. She tells him that they are in fact last.
John pauses, says he's disappointed to hear that, but he goes back looking with a head flashlight. He delivers an incorrect board to Phil, and then tries to look at the correct boards stacked up behind Phil. Phil's all, "No."
John goes back searching for over an hour until he delivers the correct surfboard. Phil congratulates him, and then eliminates the team, pointing out that they're the first team in Race history to be eliminated while still holding an Express Pass.
"That's notable," John says maniacally. "I don't see the value in looking back and experiencing regret over decisions that we have no control over at this point. That concept doesn't make sense to me."
Phil says, "Really?"
John answers. "The simple truth is I don't need a million dollars." They walk off.
Phil shrugs his shoulders at the camera and literally says, "Oy vey!" Then later he Tweets, "#History #Speechless #OyVey"
It was so awesome, you guys, I can't even explain it. John was just losing his mind. I can understand him wanting to keep looking for the board when he knew he was last, just for the satisfaction of completing a task. But I do not understand him not using the Express Pass when they were falling behind. He was cautious to a fault.
And let's talk about Jessica. In their pre-Race intro, she mentioned that she hoped to get a ring on her finger after all this. She may have just been saying it for publicity, but do you think she still wants to get married after all this? Or do you think she already knew this side of John? Why couldn't she talk him into using their Express Pass? What is going on here? Oy vey some more.
Next week there's a Double U-Turn so the drama keeps coming!