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TV Lust
Television reviews and recaps
'American Horror Story' recap: 'Edward Mordrake, Part I'

"American Horror Story" gets into the spooky spirit this week with the start of its annual Halloween two-parter. Over the past few years, we’ve had zombies and ghosts and Anne Frank, but this year's installment revolves around a very strange and very specific story.

The World Building Continues

Two more “AHS” regulars arrive this week: Emma Roberts and Denis O’Hare play a con artist couple selling “fake” relics to places like the American Morbidity Museum, which apparently exists. They’re caught out as frauds, but rather than having them arrested, the museum curator just complains about how the ease of free entertainment at home means times are tough for her establishment, too. She says that should the fraudsters manage to stumble upon something real, she’d pay them for it, and sends them off to see the freak show in Florida. Apparently, television really has been ruining people’s lives in literally every way possible.

Meanwhile, in Jupiter, we learn that the carnies are taking the...

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'Top Chef' recap, 'Boston's Bravest and Finest'

All eyes are on Mei Lin.

She whooped everyone and won the first elimination challenge last week with a bowl of rice porridge. Rice porridge, people!

In the stew room over empty bottles of beer and wine, one of the brunette cheftestants felt the need to raise her glass to toast Mei Lin. The rest of the chefs muster weak and insincere applause.

I don’t blame them. It’s a big deal to win the first elimination challenge. In 11 seasons of “Top Chef,” eight of the chefs who won the first challenge have gone on to either winning the whole thing or came in as runner up. 

So yeah, I wouldn’t be cheering too hard either.

Afterwards comes the gratuitous post-mortem. Katsuji Tanabe is embarrassed his “petroleum” taco landed on the bottom. He should be; that thing had more ingredients than Katusji has nationalities. Also, it’s always a good idea to name your dish after crude oil. Not.

Aaron Grissom, who came across as a jerk last week by making fun of Katie Weinner’s “tossed salad,” picks a fight...

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'Survivor' recap, 'Blood is Blood'

Back from last week’s Tribal Council, where Drew effectively engineered his own ousting. Jon is madly trying to do damage control (since he just lost his closest ally), but Jeremy sees right through it. If his eyes rolled any harder, they’d fall out of his head.

Over at Coyopa, they are relishing the fact that they aren’t the tribe doing the ‘walk of shame’ into the reward challenge for once. Alec is gobsmacked that his brother got voted out and thinks it must have been because he was a huge threat. Or because no one could stand him.

Enough of that, because Jeff announces that it’s time for everyone to drop their buffs. But it’s not a merger, it’s time to mix up the tribes.

New Coyopa is Kelley and Dale, Missy and Baylor, Jaclyn and Jon and Keith.

New Hunahpu is Josh and Reed, Wes, Alec, Jeremy, Julie and Natalie.

This really doesn’t look good for Keith, but at least he has a hidden Immunity Idol. Jon is super-relieved, because he knows that he wasn’t in the best position in his old...

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'Dancing with the Stars' recap, Alfonso toughs it out

Nobody was happy with their scores last week, including poor Witney Carson, who was stuck with Michael Waltrip's straight 5s.

Alan "Voice of the Balls" Dedicoat introduces us to tonight's guest performer and judge Pitbull. It is agreed upon in my living room that Pitbull's sex appeal might be about 63% due to his sunglasses.

Leah Remini is our guest co-host tonight, due to Erin Andrews' commitments with Fox and the World Series.

The first couple to be announced safe are Tommy & Peta. Peta is shocked and screaming, "What?" Val & Janel are in jeopardy, as are Jonathan & Alison.

Jonathan Bennett & Allison Holker, Jazz

They're both wearing black suits, because they're dancing to Pitbull's song from "Men in Black III." I have to say, I'm impressed that Allison is wearing a real suit and not some "sexy" version of a suit. She's also wearing what I think might genuinely be jazz shoes.

Julianne Hough says it's the first time she's really seen Jonathan DANCE and it was great. Bruno Tonioli says...

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'Gotham' recap, 'Viper'

Another day, another mass panic in Gotham. 

In the episode titled “Viper,” Stan Potolsky, a biochemist with the heart of an evil philosopher, unleashed a potent drug on Gotham. Viper induced euphoria and super human strength, followed by a crushing withdrawal — literally. 

If only the special effects lived up to the drug’s effect. The sudden morph into snake-like green eyes and silver skin isn’t what vexed me. How cheesy was the first druggie getting squashed like a cardboard box under the ATM?

If last week’s episode was the high, this week was the crash from coming down.

The episode’s most glaring flaw was its clichéd writing. “God help us if that drug gets out,” James Gordon says to Harvey Bullock. The next scene shows Potolsky passing out vials of the drug like it’s Halloween candy. Who didn’t see that one coming? 

The scene where Carmine Falcone overheard Fish Mooney’s fembot was another misstep that felt oddly paced. Falcone was too eager to chat to the crooner and reveal his life...

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'Real Housewives of New Jersey' season finale recap, 'Judgement Day'

After this season's finale of "Real Housewives of New Jersey," it's safe to say I have never witnessed a "Housewives" finale that was so emotional yet very boring.

The episode begins with Teresa G. walking into her Oct. 2 court case. She eventually finds out she is going to jail for 15 months, which sets a depressing tone. The episode then cuts back to six months prior.

Melissa brings her kids over to play with Teresa G.’s kids. They both emphasize to their kids how it is important that they support each other.

Dina is finalizing plans for her Project Ladybug event. The Twins' friend, Abbey, lets Dina hold the event at her lavish, 31,000-square-foot mansion. Yes, 31,000 square feet. I’m pretty sure that is the size of the Duggars’ home. However, they have 19 kids.

Dina is worried there will be drama at the charity event, which is understandable. According to "Housewife" history, whenever there is a charity event, usually a weave is pulled or someone is chased down. Her fears are very...

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