b's Jordan Bartel gives his recap and commentary on the latest episode"I always knew there was decency in you even when you were a smug smarcastic ass" -- SookieFinally! Those crazy kids Sookie and Eric have kissed. And it came with a swelling "Notebook"-esque music score.
Honestly, weren't we all just waiting for this to happen. I mean, Eric spooned Sookie this episode ... and he was the little spoon. Plus, he ignored the evil Godric in his dream when he commanded him to drink Sookie.
Good guy, that Eric. But the First Eric-Sookie Kiss was much-needed in this episode, where not much else important really happened -- except learning that Google and Fox News both have vampires on the payroll. Who wasn't shocked by that news?
Here's a rundown of the episode:
Love at first bite?: The Sookie-Eric plotline pretty much drove this episode, and it was pretty shocking to see Godric be so un-god like in Eric's dream. Really? Snapping at Eric about being "incapable of love." Not the Godric we love. And the whole "You are damned. You cannot be saved. You are a creature of death" Godric soliloquy? Not cool. "I had a bad dream," Eric says. Time to spoon you two! But Sookie has more on her mind than spooning -- she's got some witches to slyly investigate.
So she goes to Marnie's Moon Goddess Emporium (again, worst witch-business name ever) to ask for a reading. And she's connected with Gran, who tells her to not only avoid Eric but to get the hell out of Marnie's presence. "When my Gran tells me to run, I run," Sookie says.
Run back to Eric! Even after Tara gives a rundown of all the bad stuff Eric has done to Sookie (which is, yes, a lot), Sookie stands by her gentle man. "Am I evil?" existential Eric asks.
"You weren't always like this. Gentle, sweet. But it suits you," Sookie says. I will always prefer badass ballsy Eric, but Sookie clearly likes this version better and always claims that she knew deep down he was like this (which is a bit hard to believe).
But the kiss was great. Perfect. And totally won't last. Pam has revealed to Bill that she knows Eric is at Sookie's. Bill, crestfallen, dashes away to arrest him/walk in on the two making out. Can't wait to see that showdown next episode.
Marnie in the clink: Oh, Marnie. Despite her constant pleas that it's not her casting the spells and that she doesn't know how to reverse Eric's and Pam's spells, she's arrested by the Vampire League police. Apparently, people aren't apt to believe that she's being controlled by a witch from the 1600s. In a flashback, we see Marnie's "spirit guide," in a 1600s jail during what seems to be the Spanish Inquisition. And with Catholic priests who are vampires.
Sadly, the whole Catholic priests-as-vampires thing is only the second most scary thing about Catholic priests.
We later learn a bit of the backstory from Bill as he gathers his vampire sheriffs to organize a plan of attack against the witches. Apparently, vampires have a history of inserting themselves in important institutions -- like the Catholic church in the 1600s. Oh, and Google and Fox News, he says.
Any bets on the Fox News vamp leader? I've got $10 on Megyn Kelly.
Unexpected deaths this week: I've said it before, but I could care less about anything Mickens-related. But Joe Lee and Melinda's violent deaths at the hands of Tommy? Surprising. I mean, killinh your folks because they want you to get back into the human-as-dogfighter game is pretty much justifiable, but I didn't see this one coming.
Sidenote on Sam and Tommy dumping their bodies in the swamp: marshallows actually DO attract alligators. I learned that on a New Orleans swamp tour.
Tommy Mickens, religious scholar: Tommy's pretty sure he's going to hell for killing his folks, and his memory of the commandements he broke is awesome -- "Don't kill s---. Don't f--- with your parents." Pretty much.
Mexican misadventure: I'm pretty interested to see what Jesus' shaman grandfather will teach Jesus and Lafayette on their trek down to Mexico, but how sad what Jesus' story of his childhood birthday present. Killing a goat! Then licking its blood off the knife! Almost worse than that nutcracker I got when I was 8.
Best cameo: Welcome back, Lettie Mae, Tara's mom. Now married to a reverend, she's called upon to exorcise the demon ghost thing that Arlene and Terry believe is making their child do bad things. Also loved how Lettie Mae reminded them that she was possessed by a demon so she KNOWS what she's doing.
Most inappropriate post-excorsism activity: In the mood for sex, Arlene and Terry? Really?
Creepiest behavior: Portia Bellefleur gives me the creeps, especially when she still tries to hook up with Bill despite learning that he's her great-great-great-great grandfather. "I've done research on incest!" she says. No no, Portia. Just no.
Worst dream: I don't know how to feel after Jason dreaming he's having sex with Jessica and Hoyt is watching and such. "She wants you in her mouth. That's just great," Dream Hoyt says. Funny? Um, I guess.
Best comeback: Lafayette using the word "hooka" again, as in "Hooka, you're crazy." Almost makes up for his 34th hairdo this season, which was clearly a tiny-dreadlock ode to Coolio, circa "Gangsta's Paradise."Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun