Yes, we’re talking celebrity fragrances, which have recently reached new levels of saturation (figuratively and literally — ever sit next to someone wearing Spears’ Midnight Fantasy?).
Shockingly, stars are jumping on board because this stuff is big business. Jeter’s cologne, Driven, raked in $27 million in sales last year, according to Forbes. We’ll give you a second to take that in.
Still with us? Here’s a look at some new, pretty random celeb scents.
•••• Outspoken Intense, Fergie
Why her: In some circles, she’s a style icon (I call those circles horribly misguided). And her first perfume, Outspoken, was a huge seller that won Best New Celebrity Fragrance at the 2011 Fifi Awards, the perfume industry’s Oscars. Or something.
What it’s like: According to Avon, which says this will be released in late summer, “Fergie wants to evoke a rush of adrenaline that she feels before she comes out on stage.” Which means, apparently, smelling like “exotic notes of star fruit, kumquat, blackberries, passion flower and sensual musk.”
Buy it for: Your 30-something friend who still gets excited when she hears “Let’s Get It Started” at a ballgame.
•••• David Beckham, David Beckham Homme
Why him: Look at him. “I wanted to create a modern, masculine fragrance that reflects my style,” Beckham has said. Who are we to stand in his way? This one’s out in September.
What it’s like: Coty announced it as “woody-spicy.” Among the ingredients: rosemary, patchouli, ginger and Szechuan pepper. For reals. This one seems a bit more adventurous than Beckham’s Intimately Yours scent. At last!
Buy it for: That charismatic athlete friend of yours who also happens to enjoy “Spice World.”
•••• Taylor Swift, Wonderstruck
Why her: Girls love her, so they must smell like her, too (the title is derived from the lyrics of her song, “Enchanted”). This debut scent is out in October.
What it’s like: It has been described as “woody” and “floral.” Which sort-of seem like opposites. Also: apple blossom, “sun-drenched honeysuckle” and lush peach. So expect some bartering for your body if you wear this at the farmers’ market.
Buy it for: One who would be charmed by Swift’s quote: “Falling in love is a moment every girl daydreams about and Wonderstruck represents that magical feeling of promise and hope and intrigue.”
•••• Alan Cumming, 2nd (Alan) Cumming
Why him: Anyone have a theory? Please let me know.
What it’s like: Creepy — just like Cumming! Kidding. CB I Hate Perfume, the store in Brooklyn, N.Y., currently selling the stuff, says that it is “all about Sex, Scotch, Cigars and Scotland.” Also all about capitalization.
Buy it for: Someone who doesn’t mind its name. It’s a sequel to his first fragrance, Cumming. Or perhaps Cumming doesn’t want to be Left Behind.
•••• Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom, Unbreakable
I refuse to write about these two.
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