Will the rubber duckie be the best man?
The are-they-or-aren't-they gay jokes about Ernie and Bert have a long history. I think an image of them holding hands was carved by early man in the caves at Lascaux.
But could the two actually get married? Huffington Post reports today that more than 900 people have signed a petition urging the makers of "Sesame Street" get married. Lair Scott started the petition which reads, in part, "In this horrific age of LGBT kids taking their own lives, they need to know that they ARE Beautiful and their lives are worth living."
"We're not asking that 'Sesame Street' do anything crude or disrespectful by allowing Bert & Ernie to marry. It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different."
Not sure how Sesame Street would make this storyline distasteful, but the argument makes sense. The people who make the show have long denied that the Muppets represent a gay relationship.
Reaction — shockingly — has been mixed. The New York¿ Daily News apparently spent time writing an editorial blasting the petition. "Why stop there? Why not march Yogi Bear and Boo Boo down the aisle, too?" it read.
Oh, come on, New York Daily News. You know that Boo Boo is in a serious relationship and Yogi took a vow of celibacy years ago.
The best reaction came from Greg Kelly on "Good Day NY" who took the "Come on, bro. They're clearly straight" stance. "However, they do have a picture of themselves on the wall, which would suggest, well, unusual behavior."
Posing for a photo together = gay, apparently.
Reaction on Twitter has been swift, funny and weird. A few of the highlights:
@ArmisteadMaupin: The folks who fret that a wedding between Bert and Ernie would "sexualize" a kids' show were remarkably silent about a frog porking a pig.
@marcslove: Seriously people? Get a grip and have some priorities & common sense with your activism.
@Qnzadvan: If Bert and Ernie get married they need a black panther muppet added to the show also.
What do you all think? Better question, where would they register?
On a related note, here's a very special Bert and Ernie video about eating cookies in bed.