Relationships column: Living the single life, indefinitely

For The Baltimore Sun
I could be dating, but right now I chose not to.

Lately, people have been asking me what's going on in my love life. I suppose that's a valid question since, after all, I write a relationships column.

People think I'm this expert who has it all together in the romance department. They think I'm the go-to gal for tips on making their relationship a joyous and fruitful union.

I'm flattered, really. And I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but I'm just as confused about relationships as the next columnist.

My love life, I would say, is a notch below calamitous.

It's not 100 percent pathetic, though, since someone has recently managed to grab my attention.

I can say that he's the complete opposite of my ex. Meaning, he's intensely ambitious and naturally selfless with a beautifully sculpted physique.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed and allow it to blossom unhurriedly.

I digress. Boys have been the least of my worries lately.

I've been so absorbed in working and writing that I've ruled out the possibility for anything serious. Just the thought of being in a full-fledged relationship stresses me out.

I have flashbacks about all the annoyances and arguments, and I want to push all those memories to the same forgetful place that setting my alarm clock or switching banks have gone.

I don't have to answer to anyone, and that excites me more than a warm, molten fudge brownie with a mound of vanilla bean ice cream on top.

Maybe I'm pushing it.

I'm just astonished at how, just a few months ago, I was so wrapped up in someone, awarding him full dictatorship over my emotions. Now, I often pray he doesn't text me because then I would have to be mean and ignore him.

But seriously, not fussing about where someone is or who they are with makes me want to skip through a field of daisies singing "Let It Go."

Removing myself from a situation I poured my emotions into and one that left me consistently disappointed encouraged me to view things for what they really were.

During that period, I was not where I wanted to be professionally, and wasting my time in a toxic situation wasn't helping.

Although I'm still not where I want to be, noticeable progress has certainly been made.

When I wake up in the morning, I have a mini conversation with myself. "What do you have to do today? What are you looking to accomplish? What are you concerned about?"

There's no weight on my shoulders from hauling around someone else's life.

I am no relationships expert, but I always encourage people to choose themselves first. Build yourself up before getting into anything seriously.

I'm at a point where I get to mold myself into who I want to be, and that's captivating.

Lately, people have been asking me what's going on in my love life.

I say, until Prince Charming comes to swoop me up in his little red Corvette, I'll be working pretty damn hard on myself.

Zahara Johnson's column appears regularly in b.

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