This week’s episode was a little light on the real drama, and heavy on the stupid, intoxicated kind that is both short-lived but high-strung and ugly. OK, let’s just cut to the chase, this week was another sloppy meatball episode.
The episode started with JWOWW and Roger finally hashing out the Bamboo-push situation and agreeing to stay together. It sounded half-assed on his part to me, but later in the episode, he meets her at the club and surprises her with all her best friends from home, so I had an “Aw” moment and forgave him.
Besides Deena, in all her sloppy meatball-ness, the other main character in this episode is the stressed-out, overinflated, delusional Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.
Mike continues to stress out about his new relationship with Paula, and by new I mean – ONE DAY OLD! He goes on and on to all the roommates about how much she’s changed, but that he is going to “make it work.” Like Ronnie so eloquently put it “If you’re determined to stick it out on day one, I give it a week.”
The roommates started placing bets on how long they would last, just when Mike starts discussing the couple of things about Paula that bother him but that he will fix – like her teeth and clothes.
Now let me start by stating that I am in fact a fan of the new, sober Mike “The Situation” but when he starts talking about this beautiful girl that has put up with his s--t for four summers now and starts in on how her teeth aren’t perfect and he wants to buy her new clothes ... Really? I am not sure if there is such thing as a face-doctor, but I would suggest he look into that in order to “spruce” himself up a bit if we’re listing things that aren’t “perfect.”
He goes out later and “forgets” how to act not-single. He dances up on girls, flirts and exchanges numbers, but Paula has more than one friend out that night that is keeping an eye on him. Clearly, she needs to!
Amidst the crying and stressing, Pauly and Vinny get bored and decide to prank Deena by switching out all the pictures of her and her man Chris, to the two of them looking lovingly like a couple. I thought it was hilarious, and was happy Denna was sober enough to laugh about it and not have a breakdown over it.
Speaking of breakdowns, this just in: Deena has another one this week. (Shocking!) Deena gets rip-roaring drunk once again over a span of two days. She spends part of it with her new favorite party-partners, Ron and Sam, and the other half of it solo, as she likes to do.
The first part of this drunken drama takes place on the first day when Ron and Deena head out together and he gets grossed out that she starts talking about her sex life with Chris. He came home and told Sam that as per usual – the more Deena drinks, the more she talks about herself.
The meltdown starts when later that night on the way home from the club, Sam brings this up in a drunken-vindictive kind of way that I personally, was not a fan of. Deena was drunkenly talking about how Ron is her best guy friend and how much fun they have together and Sam shoots back with a “Ron said you talked about yourself the whole time.”
Really? Was it necessary to be such a b---h at that moment? It smelled like jealousy to me. It was a gang-up situation that didn’t sit right with Deena, and rightfully so.
The next day, Deena wakes up, hugs Ronnie good morning to show that they are good, and goes about getting Drunken Day No. 2 started. She parties with Ron and Sam most of the day but then continues on a lone meatball.
Once home, Sam answers the duck phone for a call from Deena’s mom looking for her. Sam, acting like the great friend she was this episode, admits that Deena is out on the boardwalk alone and drunk, but not as drunk as last time.
Deena stumbles in the door, merping to herself and answers the phone call from her very irate mother. Her mom tells her she is coming to pick her up and take her home. Deena cries, says OK and hangs up the phone. Deena says she has to go home because her mommy said so, and the roommates tell her to stay and that she’s an adult. Deena grows a set for a moment and calls her mom to say that she is not coming home, and wants to stay. *stomps feet on ground while throwing temper tantrum* Wahhhh.
Then, Ronnie starts in on her again making fun of how drunk she is and telling her if she is going to cry every day that she should go home. The guys all chime in as they normally do and Deena starts crying and screaming at Ronnie. She calls Chris to come get her because now she wants to leave. He says he can’t, she hangs up. The end.
The only other short event that I missed was that Snooki cooked dinner for Jionni and almost burned the house down, thought she might have poisoned him, but he ate it and told her it was great! It was a cute little family-show moment.
Things I Learned On This Episode of "Jersey Shore":
• Chris is the first guy that has ever gotten Deena off. Good for you girl – you have finally arrived!
• Deena won’t get arrested if she stays drunk on the boardwalk and doesn’t wander into the street again -- according to officers she drunkenly high-fived and hugged.
• If a girl wants to “hop up and down” on Mike’s lap, that’s OK and he’s going to let her.
Let me know what you thought of this week's episode on Twitter: @KT_HUTCH.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun