Diana Jenkins was happy to welcome her daughter back home after college -- as long as there were rules: No boyfriends sleeping over. No excessive drinking. A midnight curfew during the week. And her daughter had to tell her if she was not coming for dinner -- well before dinnertime.
"We don't nag her to death," says Jenkins, 50, who has two other children. "They're adults, and you have to understand for four years, they have pretty much called the shots in their own life."
Nearly half of college graduates return to the nest, according to Susan Shaffer, co-author of Mom, Can I Move Back in With You?: A Survival Guide for Parents of Twentysomethings. And while these so-called Boomerangers may have come home for Christmas vacation and spring and summer breaks, moving back home for a longer period of time is a whole new ball game. Here are tips from parents and experts:
• Plan ahead. Whether it's applying to graduate school, the Peace Corps, finding employment, saving money or taking a break from life, recent grads need to have a plan.
"If you encourage your children to start planning right after graduation, it accelerates their progression -- career advancement, financial returns, independence, life balance and happiness," says Nicholas Aretakis, author of No More Ramen: The 20-something's Real World Survival Guide.
• Establish rules. Make sure your child knows that the house is not party central, says Jenkins. Discuss whether friends are allowed to come over -- and spend the night. Set guidelines on drinking. Decide whether they should tell you where they are going. But don't be too controlling, says Jenkins.
• Make them help. Many Boomerangers won't have money for room and board, but you should make them contribute something to the household, whether it's household chores or chauffeuring a younger sibling around, says Alexandra Robbins, author of Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis.
• Set a time limit. Most Boomerangers will move out within a couple of years. But there are some who are failing to launch, according to William Damon, author of The Path to Purpose.
Therefore, parents should set a time limit for how long their child can live in the house.