Retire? Gotta keep up with nephew

Rewinding the week that was, in which the New York Jets took command of the AFC East (B-R-E-T-T! Brett! Brett! Brett!), Virginia Tech was downright offensive down in Miami (and not in a good way), and His name is LeBron/He is a hoops star …

BIG PAPI: WE WIN IT WITH MANNYDavid Ortiz said the Red Sox would have won the World Series had Manny Ramirez remained in a Boston uniform. Of course, it might have helped had Ortiz hit better than .186 in the postseason.

JETS BEAT PATRIOTS IN OVERTIMEWas that the quickest postgame coaches' handshake ever?

New England's Bill Belichick couldn't have pulled his hand away faster had Eric Mangini been wearing one of those buzzer rings.

CUBS' LOU PINIELLA IS NL MANAGER OF THE YEARBoy, when they say voting is done before the postseason, they aren't kidding.

NFLPA ORDERED TO COMPENSATE RETIREESThe jury determined that the union failed to properly market its retired players' images. So look for Billy Kilmer on the next "Madden NFL" cover.

BRETT FAVRE'S NEPHEW SETS RECORDDylan Favre threw 43 touchdown passes this season, breaking the Mississippi prep record. He appears to be a great prospect, but we won't know for sure unless he retires first.

TOM BRADY STILL REHABBINGThis has become the most talked-about knee since Nancy Kerrigan's.

JERRY JONES: COWBOYS WILL MAKE PLAYOFFSIt's nice that the team's owner is this confident, but a note of caution: This is the same guy who said Pacman Jones wouldn't create any problems.

NFL TO REDUCE COST OF PLAYOFF TICKETSThe average ticket will cost 10 percent less than it did last year. So instead of having to pay an arm and a leg, now you'll get to keep six of your toes.

HOKIES FALL HARD AT MIAMIThings got so bad for Virginia Tech's offense in the third quarter of the 16-14 loss to the Hurricanes that Bryan Stinespring called for the kneel-down play in hopes of losing fewer yards.

LANE KIFFIN INTERVIEWS FOR CLEMSON JOBHere's guessing his resumé doesn't list Al Davis as a reference.

NOTRE DAME AD: WEIS' JOB IS SAFECharlie Weis always knew those compromising photos would come in handy.

SAY IT AIN'T SO, LEBRON. SAY IT AIN'T SOLeBron James told reporters that he has several Barry Manilow songs on his iPod. It could be worse. He could be listening to … to … no, I guess it couldn't be worse.

Dave Johnson can be reached at 247-4649 or by e-mail at

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