Who doesn't love a good blender? I totally bedazzled it. I mean, allegedly. Those two. So secretive.
Everyone geeked up for the home opener today? The awesome Bob Vanderberg sure is, and I want what he's on. Fun fact: Vandy, the assistant high school sports editor, orders Boston Blackies for us every Friday night during football season. Sorry, tangent.
The White Sox seem to be having fun out there again, and really, isn't that's what it's all about? In case you missed it last night (or your TV at work doesn't pick up ESPN2, sigh) Nick Swisher jacked his first homer of the season and Orlando Cabrera recorded 3 RBIs on a big double and Mark Buehrle pitched much better and the Sox smacked around the Tigers. Your Detroit Tigers, 0-6. Wow.
As for today, weather looks good: Highs in the upper 50s with west winds 10 to 20 mph. Javier Vazquez on the mound for the Sox. Delmon Young is in the lineup for the Twins. Someone tell the umps to be on alert.
Side note: I was supposed to work tonight, but Rahula switched shifts with me so I could compete in the "Chutes and Ladders" tournament at my neighborhood bar. Why, what did you think my reason was?
Post your comments below or email me at email@example.com.
Don't tell, but I'm drinking and cubicling. Free champagne from the Pulitzer announcements. Weeeeee. Also, can someone explain the whole bean bag (or "bags" as Adam tells me) phenomenon? I am so out of the loop. Javier Vazquez gets Carlos Gomez up first. First pitch bunt, Vazquez can't field it and there's one aboard. Nice bunt down the firstbase line. Here's Denard Span. Yeah, I don't know either. 1-1 count on Span. Couple pickoff attempts to first, but no dice. One ball later, and Gomez steals second. One pitch later, and Span grounds out to second base and Gomez moves to third. Here's Joe Mauer. He so wants to be Brandon Walsh from 90210. Which I've heard the CW is re-doing. Mauer singles up the middle, that will score Gomez. Twins 1-0. Sox killer Justin Morneau stands in there. Vazquez falls behind 3-0 before getting a strike. Yuck. Next pitch is a ball, and Morneau trots down to first. So two on, one out. Opening Day baseball fever, catch it! Delmon Young swings at the first pitch he sees, and he grounds into a double play to end the inning.
Nick Swisher is leading things off again, followed by Orlando Cabrera (O-Cab) and big Jim Thome. Swisher is good and all, but WHAT is up with his goatee? Used to be a dark color, and now it looks like he bleached it blonde. Like Bobby Jenks. Is it a team unity thing? Someone needs to find out. Ball one to Swisher. Takes the next pitch deep to CF for a double. He's fired up. Must be the bleach. Here's O-Cab. Ball one. Strike one. Next pitch down the firstbase line for a single. RF Span makes a nice play that will hold Swisher at third. Thome now (no facial hair for him). Thome grounds it through the hole at first (and his bat goes flying into the seats). That's a single, Swisher scores. Tied 1-1. Runners at first and second, no outs. Paul Konerko is up. I think the crowd likes him. Quickly 0-2. Konerko checks it up, oh wait, no he doesn't. That's a strikeout. One out. JD now. 1-2 count for JD; looked like Blackburn balked...but no. Big cut from JD...and he whiffs...and that's two outs. AJ Pierzynski -- the AL player of the week -- stands in there. He grounds it to the shortstop for the third out. Sox strand two.
And yes, I know. Same old bad picture of Amanda. See, I didn't think I'd be working the cubicle today...and I left my special outfit at home. So next time, for reals. Pinky swear. And steady yourselves, but Project Runway is moving to Lifetime. It's gonna be OK. Jason Kubel is first up. He lines it past Uribe at second for a single. Vazquez fell behind 2-0 in the count (again) and Kubel made him pay. Brendan Harris bunts it to Vazquez, who barely gets the throw to first in time. Sheesh. Kubel moves to second. Mike Lamb now. He's batting .100 this season. 2-2 count for Lamb. He takes the next pitch and floats it into LF for a double. That will score Kubel. Twins 2-1. Adam Everett pops up the first pitch to Konerko in foul territory for the second out. Carlos Gomez also pops up in foul territory, but it's so foul it's in the stands. 1-1 count. Now it's a full count. And then Javy gets him to strikeout. But we're not tied no more.
Carlos Quentin is first up. He made a lovely throw on Saturday from LF all the way to first. No hops. That's some robo-arm. He takes four straight balls for the walk. Here'e Joe Crede. Is he your sweetie? Some dudes wearing all green suits with white gloves in the stands. Hot. Crede falls behind 1-2 and then pops out to the SS. That thing went high in the air. Juan Uribe -- 4 for 20 this season -- lays off the first pitch. I know! Strike one. Takes the next pitch deep to CF, but Gomez is there to make the catch. Quentin goes back to first. Nick Swisher, and his goatee of joy. This is for all the ladies. Swisher runs the count to 3-2...two foul balls...and then he walks. O-Cab. 1-1. Mound conference for the Twins. 2-2. And then O-Cab flies out to RF. Sox strand two. Again.
Rats, I missed this. Span leads off this inning. He lines it just past the reach of a stretching Joe Crede. One aboard. Twins have had their leadoff dude on each inning. Three times. Mauer and his massive sideburns. 0-2 count. Then Javy focuses all his energy on picking off Span. Like three throws in a row. Back to Mauer dude. Couple foul balls. Then more throws to first. Crowd is getting restless. Me too. I've got plans tonight. Mauer strikes out, and Span takes off for second. AJ's throw isn't in time. So one out. Span's first career stolen base. Morneau now...he walked in the first inning. He hits it deep to CF, but Swisher is there to make the catch. Span tags and heads to third. Delmon "Bat thrower" Young. He's 23 and likes long walks on the beach. OK, he's 23. Not sure about the other stuff. Javy strikes him out on a called third strike.
Your cubicler is sleepy. Let's keep those comments coming. Blackburn: 43 pitches (27 strikes). Thome is up first. Quickly 0-2. A ball, and then Thome strikes out swinging (first two strikes were looking). Paulie now. And he whiffs at the first pitch he's thrown. This Blackburn dude is strike happy. Now a questionable strike (looks like a ball) called. It was a curveball, kinda high and inside. Ozzie comes out to yell. And yell. And yell. And yell. And he's gone. Ozzie is ejected by HP ump Phil Cuzzi. And then my Comcast feed goes out. Lovely. And we're back now. Konerko strikes out swinging. That was eventful. JD gets a single to RF. And here's AJ. And there goes my Comcast feed. Geez. What kind of place do I work for? I think AJ is trying to grow a beard too. At least a chin beard. These boys are silly. Full count for AJ. And he rips a single to LF, Dye moves to second. That ball was scalded. Carlos Quentin now. He hits a broken bat flare to CF, but Gomez is there to make the third out. Sox strand two. Again.
Twins 2-1. Twins also have one more manager than the Sox.
Aw, Erstad's manliness. I miss him. Is it time to move when your bus stop has more 40s of malt liquor (Magnum) on the ground than people waiting for said bus? Jason Kubel is first up. He strikes out, AJ drops the ball, throws to first for the out. Brendan Harris now. He lines it down the RF line, and Harris has a stand-up double. JD got in front of that one, keeping Harris from getting a triple. Here's Mike Lamb. Quickly 0-2 for Lamb. Geeez...Lamb takes a golf style swing at the Javy offering, and it's a double down the RF line. That will score Harris. Twins 3-1. I have no clue how he got the bat on that one. Fore! Up now...Adam Everett, former Astro right? 2-2 count. He's 6-for-11 all-time against Vazquez. Make that 6-for-12. Everett strikes out swining. Gomez now. He flies out to JD in RF. For the third out.
Here's the story about how Ozzie got ejected. It's brand new information. Cuzzi and Ozzie sitting in a tree...Joe Crede is up first. 2-2 count for him. And then he fouls one off. Hawks is babbling about something. I'm not really listenning. Crede just misses a HR, as the ball pops off the padding in CF. Instead, it's a double. Uribe smacks it past the second baseman for a single. Span bobbles the ball, but Crede is held at third. A helmeted Jeff Cox at third flashed Crede the hold sign. Here's Nick Swisher. He grounds it to 2B, Uribe it out at second, but Swisher beats the throw to first. Crede scores, Twins 3-2. O-Cab now. 1-0 count. Next ball is high and inside, almost hits O-Cab. The nerve. He grounds the next pitch to the SS for the second out. Swisher moves (duh) to second. Big Jim Thome now. He's got a new bat, as his last one shattered in the first. Quickly 0-2. Thome doesn't like that called second strike. Couple balls, then a breaking ball gets Thome to strikeout. Sox strand one (hey, that doesn't fit my pattern).
Have you guys listenned to Steve Stone on the radio? I'm sure deep down you miss Chris Singleton. And we're back. Span is up first again. Foul, foul, ball, foul, line drive but right to Crede at third. One out. Mauer and his sideburns of power now. He flies out to Swisher his goatee of joy in CF. Two outs. Morneau flies to to Quentin for the third out.
Have to run a quick errand. Be right back. I'm back. Konerko grounded out to third for the first out. And now JD is up with a 1-2 count. Sorry, I had to go pick up my Pulitzer. But I ran. JD also grounded out, but this time to shortstop. And then AJ quickly grounds out, to the second baseman. Easy 1-2-3 inning for Blackburn.
Let's see. Delmon Young is up first. He hits the second pitch to Dye in RF for the out. Kubel pops out to second for the second out. ">Adam is not a happy camper right now, as the Cubs are in extra innings. Javy is happy, as he needed just five pitches to get three outs. Harris strikes out on three called strikes. Wow. Who is this Javy? Nice going.
There's a bunch of Blackhawks at the game today. Doing a little goal scoring on top of the Sox dugout. That doesn't seem safe. But it doesn't look like any players of pucks flew off. So that's good. Matt Guerrier is the new pitcher for the Twinkies. Here's Carlos Quentin. He's called out on strikes. Hawk: "Let's take a look at it." Me: Can't see, my TV just went out. Again. Needless to say, Hawk and the Sox didn't think that last strike was indeed, a strike. Here's Crede. He pops up the second pitch. And the TV goes out. Hmmm. Think he popped up to the SS. It's like in wrestling, when the lights go dark and then the dude gets knocked out. Two outs. Juan Uribe now. Three pitches, no swinging. 3-0. 4-0. Stupid TV. Cubicle favorite Nick Swisher is up. STUPID TV. Back and forth between and picture and a blank screen. Irritating. 1-2 count. And then he smacks the pitch, but hits it right to Lamb at third for the third out. Sox strand one.
Speaking of bad facial hair, how about my boy Drew Gooden's beard? I guessing most would grow out their beard for $20,000. Vazquez stays in: 89 pitches (60 strikes). High pop up by Lamb right to Uribe. One out. Boone Logan is starting to get loose in the bullpen. Nice beard. Vazquez strikes out Everett. That's 7 K's for Javy. Gomez tries to bunt (just like he did to start the game), but this time it goes foul. Vazquez strikes him out too. That's ten outs in a row for Javy. Madness.
Guerrier's bio doesn't say anything about the Sox. But a little digging show, yes, he was in the Sox farm system. The things I do for you people. Here's O-Cab. He flies out to Span in RF. One out. Thome now. He still isn't happy with some of these balls/strikes called by the ump Cuzzi. 3-1 count. Next pitch looks like a ball, Thome starts to walk to first, but no. Strike. Not a happy man. Next pitch is also high, and it's called a ball. Oh wow. Walk for Thome. Paulie is 0-for-3 today. Let's see what he can do now. His goatee is getting a little gray. Aw. Paulie golf balls that one to CF...single for Paulie and Thome goes to third (the speed!). Here's JD. Corners, one out. And we've got a new Twins pitcher. Looks like RHP Pat Neshek. Yes, Butler alum Pat Neshek. Here's JD (still). Quickly 0-2. This Neshek dude is a sidearmer. Submarine? You know know what I'm talking out. Even though I don't. JD pokes the next pitch up the middle. That will score Thome. Tied 3-3. Konerko moves to second. Here's AJ. Still only one out. 0-2 after a few foul balls. Next pitch is a bit high, 1-2. Nice pitch by Neshek down and in, AJ swings and misses. Two outs. Robo-arm Carlos Quentin now. Break this tie. You'll be my hero. He smacks a single to LF. Bases loaded. No way you send Konerko on that one. So here's Crede. Break this tie. You'll be my hero. 1-0 count to Crede. And we've got another mound conference. Twins will stick with Neshek. Oh boy. Hawk just had a stroke. Crede hits the heck out of the ball, over the LF wall for a grand slam. White Sox 7-3. Crede is soooo my hero. And Crede gets a curtain call. Here's Uribe. He hits it hard to Neshek, but ke knocks it down and makes the throw to first in time. Sox strand zero. Haha!
White Sox 7-3.
Scott Linebrink is the new Sox pitcher. Vazquez finished with seven hits, three runs, one walk and eight strikeouts. Not too shabby. Linebrink gets Span first. 2-2 count. Next pitch almost hits Span in the shoulder. Span glares at Linebrink. He's not going anywhere. Well, I mean, until Linebrink walks him. Then he goes to first. Here's mean Joe Mauer and his sideburns. Pops up the first pitch in foul territory. Second pitch strike. Mauer hits the ball to Linebrink for the first out. Span moves to second. Now it's Justin Morneau. That names sounds French. He singles to shallow LF, Quentin can't get there in time. Span moves to third. Two batters ago, my boss walked by and said "This game is so over." Yup. Here's Delmon Young. Young hits it, Linebrink deflects it and it stays in the infield for a single. One run scores, Sox 7-4. Runners on first and second, one out. First pitch strike to Kubel. Then a ball. Then a strike. Then a deep ball hit right to JD in RF. Runners stay put. Nice jump by JD to field that ball. Hawk: "Yes!" Brendan Harris is the batter. He grounds out to SS O-Cab, and O-Cab throws to Uribe at second for the forceout.
White Sox 7-4.
Juan Rincon was warming up for the Twins last inning. Let's see if they use him. They do. He's in. Sox fans now wearing blonde goatee in the stands. NO! Shave it dudes. Swisher, he with a blonde goatee, is up first. 2-2 count. Foul ball. Strike three swinging. Here's O-Cab. Hits it off his fists to the SS for the second out. Then Thome flies out to end the inning.
White Sox 7-4.
Here's Bobby Jenks. Mike Lamb is up first for the Twins. He grounds out to Jenks, who throws to first for the first out. Here's Adam Everett. Quickly 0-2. He smacks the next pitch just past Crede for a single. Oh, oops. Matt Tolbert replaced Everett. So it was Tolbert that had the single. Gomez grounds into a double play to end game. And this ballgame is ova! I so just channeled Hawk right there.
White Sox 7-4.
Final thoughts: Joe Crede is my hero. He broke a tie and won the game. Two points for him! I'm off to my Chutes and Ladders tournament. Wish me luck.