Boys, Men Beware: Don't Make This Monster Mad

'Teeth'

By SUSAN DUNNE | Courant Staff Writer

March 28, 2008

"Teeth" is a monster movie that mimics the story progression, if not the style, of a 1950s cheesy creature thriller. But it's got a perverse 21st-century twist. Or one might say exactly the opposite: Its twist goes all the way back to the origins of classical mythology.

Mitchell Lichtenstein's ghastly little shocker has the prettiest fiend anyone could envision: a luscious blond teenager. She beguiles men with her smile and then destroys them with her vagina. It comes equipped with a full set of razor-sharp chompers, which can sever a penis or a hand full of fingers in one flash of anger. If there's an attack dog around to help her pick up the pieces, so much the better.

Lichtenstein (the son of pop-art icon Roy Lichtenstein) was inspired by vagina dentata, an ancient, cross-cultural myth about women with teeth inside their vulvas. The myth pandered to primeval male fears of being overpowered by women and diminished by sex.

When Lichtenstein sticks with the monster-on-the-prowl topic, "Teeth" is sickening but mindlessly funny, for those who can handle the sight of severed genitalia and fountains of blood. The closing scene, especially, is hilarious. However, also in common with those '50s monster movies, the story takes a while to build up. Also, the foreshadowing and symbolism are often out of tone with the otherwise intellectually effortless story. It seems Lichtenstein is straddling genres, with a solid footing in creature feature and a weak one in metaphor.

Dawn (Jess Weixler) is a goody-two-shoes, a passionate advocate for premarital abstinence and a target for classmates making bets. At home, her parents are doting, but her stepbrother is moody and obsessed with Dawn.

Dawn's bloody rampage begins when a hunky classmate (Hale Appleman) gets too close. She resists, he forces himself on her, and things get out of hand. Or out of something.

The abstinence theme is necessary at first; it establishes Dawn's abhorrence of sex and a reason for the guys to consider her unattainable. But it gets in the way and becomes pointless after her first dismemberment. At times, it takes the form of an ill-fitting slam against religion in general that seems, ironically, preachy.

More effective thematically is the nuclear power plant that towers over Dawn's home. This, too, goes back to the classic B movies — a few of which can be seen on background TVs — which sometimes begat their monsters via nuclear contamination.

Unlike those old movies, Dawn isn't a random attacker. Her teeth retract when she is happy and only spring into action when she's pissed off. Moviegoers looking for a feminist revenge fantasy can't do much better than that. Dawn, when relaxed, is just like any other girl. Only when she's got a good reason to be angry does "Teeth" become "Attack of the Penis Muncher."

TEETH is a Roadside Attractions presentation of a film written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein. Rated R for sex, full-frontal nudity and bloody mayhem. 88 minutes. Opens today at Real Art Ways.

Contact Susan Dunne at sdunne@courant.com

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