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TNA Impact: The manure hits the fan

OK, so Jeff and Karen Jarrett are dressed all in white for an in-ring ceremony. Meanwhile, Kurt Angle has discovered that there are a couple of horses outside the Impact Zone who have been eating beans.

Hmmm, I wonder what’s going to happen?

That was the scenario on Thursday night’s episode of TNA Impact, and while you could see the payoff coming from a mile away, I thought it was pretty funny nonetheless.As a way to reward his wife for her interference helping him defeat Angle at this past Sunday’s Lockdown pay-per-view, Jeff – who’s known as “The King of the Mountain” – planned a coronation to name Karen “Queen of the Mountain.”

Moments after the crown was placed upon Karen’s head, a load of what was supposed to be horse feces (Karen and Jeff had arrived at the Impact Zone in a horse and carriage) dropped from the ceiling all over Karen.

Karen, who was covered with the slop, played it up great, but it was Jeff who made me laugh out loud. He didn’t want to get near Karen and mess up his fancy suit, so he just threw his handkerchief at her. He ended up getting an Angle Slam onto Karen’s “throne.”

I’m not sure an over-the-top comedy segment was the best way to follow-up such an intense match between Angle and Jeff, but I popped for it anyway.

It appears that the next chapter in the Angle-Jarretts feud is going to involve mixed tag matches, as Angle told Karen that he would never lay a hand on her, but he knows a “mistress” who will.

I wonder if it could be the giant Aloisia (aka Isis The Amazon). She had a tryout match with TNA a couple months ago.

Other thoughts on Thursday’s show:

The verbal/physical confrontation between A.J. Styles and Bully Ray inside a cage got the show off to a hot start. It was so nice to see something other than an Eric Bischoff promo in the opening segment. I was surprised that Styles got so many licks in on Ray, as I figured Styles wouldn’t get his hands on him until they meet in a pay-per-view match. At least TNA didn’t give away Styles leaping off the top of the cage onto Ray. That was a nice tease. …

The main event match in which TNA world champion Sting successfully defended the title against Matt Hardy was decent. After Sting got the clean win, Mr. Anderson took out both guys to again illustrate that he has no allies and still wants the championship. …

Hulk Hogan was involved in a couple of strong verbal exchanges, one with Rob Van Dam and the other with Mr. Anderson. RVD got in a couple good lines. He told Hogan that “everyone wishes you’d just get the hell out of the business” and that “a wrestler can’t make a living nowadays with just a legdrop anymore, Hulky.” …

It was announced that Sting will defend his title against RVD at next month’s Sacrifice pay-per-view. Sting said that he had a clause in his contract that allowed him to choose his opponent and he picked RVD. Um, OK. …

I give Abyss a lot of credit for continuing his match against RVD after taking a stiff kick in the mouth in the early going that reportedly knocked out his two front bottom teeth. …

I liked the verbal/physical exchange between Matt Morgan and Scott Steiner. Steiner kicked Morgan low when they were shaking hands, so I assume that means Steiner is a heel now. A program between these two should be fun. Assuming that Morgan gets the better of Steiner (and he should), he would have a lot of momentum heading into a world title program. …

Did Morgan actually say that Steiner was the first standout collegiate wrestler to make it in pro wrestling? …

I’m enjoying the Madison Rayne-Tara story line. Hopefully it leads to its logical conclusion (Tara finally getting fed up with Rayne and turning on her) rather than some illogical swerve. With TNA, you never know. …

The cage match in which Beer Money defeated Rob Terry and Murphy wasn’t bad. Robert Roode and James Storm are fun to watch no matter who they are facing. …

It was announced that Ric Flair suffered a shoulder injury at Lockdown and will need rotator cuff surgery as a result of being put in a Fujiwara Armbar by Roode. The truth – as many fans know – is that Flair has needed the surgery for some time. …

So Matt Hardy is now wearing his brother’s “Divas” belt. Great, another guy walking around with a belt that means nothing. Hey, perhaps Hardy can wrestle Eric Young with the winner being named the Undisputed Worthless Belt Champion. …

Is it just me, or does Hardy’s “Cold-Blooded” moniker and persona seem a bit forced? …

Miss Tessmacher is back and she wants the Knockouts title. Oh, good lord.

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