I'd call it murder on a bun, except there is no bun.
Two pieces of fried chicken stand in for the staff of life in the KFC Double Down, a new sandwich that puts bacon, cheese and "the Colonel's Sauce" between two golden boneless fillets.
"It's here -- and with this much chicken, there's no room for the bun!" KFC proclaims.
The Colonel has gotten a little ahead of himself. The bun-free phenom doesn't land at KFC restaurants until April 12. The price hasn't even been announced yet.
That gives an already obese nation six whole days to save up for this nutritional splurge of a sandwich, which has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1380 milligrams of sodium.
Go for the Double Down combo meal, which throws in a side like Potato Wedges and a medium soda, and you're up to 1,000 calories, 45 grams of fat and 2120 milligrams of sodium. That's about half the calories and more than half the fat that most people need all day. The sodium figure is 620 milligrams more than the daily recommended max.
Just so you know the Colonel's heart is in the right place, he is using the launch of this nutritional abomination as an opportunity to do good.
"When introducing a bunless sandwich, the obvious question is: what happens to all the buns?" KFC says in a press release. "To celebrate the launch of the Double Down, KFC will do some good by donating the 'unneeded' sandwich buns to feed the hungry. The brand will donate both buns and funds to food banks across the country, starting with the Dare to Care Food Bank in KFC's hometown of Louisville, Ky."
Touching, really. Let them eat buns! And I'd feared this culinary innovation would cause a spike in bun homelessness.
But what about that even more obvious question: Why didn't they call it the KFC Double Over?
The Colonel ponders his latest gift to a great -- and getting greater all the time -- nation. KFC photo