Last night I watched the two-hour commercial, sorry, I mean special, for Jason and Molly's wedding. Hey, look! The Bachelor isn't always a failure when it comes to helping people find true love! Except for the part where Jason actually picked someone else, humiliated her on national television, and then decided he liked his second choice, whom he had also previously rejected on national television (as pictured above), the most. TRUE WUV!
Pardon the eye-rolling, but so much got old so fast with this show. First, all the product placement. "We went to [X Jewelers]; they were so nice to little old me!" *cha-ching* "[So-and-so] did my hair, little old me!" *cha-ching* "Event Planner [ABCD] created this amazing room for us, of all people!" *cha-ching* "Oh, how nice, we just got all these fancy shoes [zoom in on logo] for the whole wedding party. How unexpected!" *cha-ching*
But the worst part was that we were supposed to feel sorry for them because they have "been through so much in the past year." What was this tragedy that befell them, you ask? An earthquake? Tsunami? Hurricane? A fire? Cancer?
No, what happened to them was that people were mean. In the tabloids and in public, even! Some woman yelled at Jason! And, oh yeah, they had to have a long-distance relationship for a while, but one in which they had the means to visit each other every other weekend! Boo-freaking-hoo. Now I'm not saying that it doesn't stink to have your business splashed all over the tabloids, especially when they are misrepresenting your life. But the reason they are in the tabloids is that they agreed to go on The Bachelor. They are in the public eye because of a decision that they made. And even more in the public eye because of a situation of Jason's own making. So please. Spare us.
Because it couldn't have been an episode of The Bachelor without drama, the big drama was: Will it rain? The answer was, yes, yes, it will, and right in the middle of the vows when it's too late to move this inside. Because we were actually supposed to believe that Wedding Planner XYZ (*cha-ching*) didn't have a backup plan for the weather. (And I couldn't help but wonder whether some poor production assistant was actually just outside the shot sprinkling water on them.)
This is not to say that there weren't any moments of amusement. When they actually took a moment's pause during the ceremony so that Chris Harrison could throw it to a commercial break, I about fell out of my chair laughing. And who doesn't crack up at an umbrella blown inside-out, as long as it's not happening to you?
But mostly I was grossed out. Jason and Molly are not exactly a beloved couple, as evidenced by Jason's mea culpa tour after he dumped Melissa and asked Molly to take him back. So whoever thought this was a great idea didn't gauge the audience very well. And if the idea was supposed to be that we'd see how awesome they are and that we've all misjudged them? Well, that didn't happen either. Now I just feel like they are spoiled ... and like I'd prefer they stay off my television screen.
Two small positives, though: That Jason and his son's mother finally realized that the best thing to do was keep him out of the show (albeit after the establishing footage of him playing with Molly had already been shot). And watching the other Bachelors and Bachelorettes who are currently in relationships get all cagey with Chris Harrison when he asked when they'd all be getting hitched.
Did you watch? What did you think?
(Photo courtesy of ABC)