Eight days before he turns himself in on attempted weapons possession (and begins a year-long stint on Rikers Island in New York), Lil Wayne thought it was the perfect time to join Twitter. @liltunechi (a moniker Wayne frequently namechecks in songs) hasn’t said much in his first five tweets, mainly using the Web site to make vague, sort-of emo declarations (example: “if its held in your heart, u kant let go.”). As b’s resident Lil Wayne fan, I’m hoping Wayne spends his 140 characters during his last days of freedom constructively. Here’s how I’d like him to put his best Twitter foot forward.
1. Recording updates: Rap’s hardest-working MC has allegedly been putting the final touches on Tha Carter IV, the follow-up to the last CD to sell more than a million copies in its first week. It’d be great to know what producers he’s working with or song titles, or really just anything.
CHANCES OF HAPPENING: 5%
2. Funny, random thoughts: The perpetually high rapper has a wicked sense of humor (his recent uStream videos have been particularly colorful) and Twitter could be the perfect outlet for a self-proclaimed alien (his Twitter location is Mars).
CHANCES OF HAPPENING: 40%
3. Twitpics of himself hanging out with beautiful women: This is pretty self-explanatory. If you don’t think this is happening, then you have not been paying attention.
CHANCES OF HAPPENING: 10%
4. More heart-on-his-sleeve Tweets: From Monday, approximately 2 p.m.: “Aint it funny how love finds you in your darkest place...?” I have no idea what he’s talking about, but who cares? The biggest rapper in the world is using Twitter like a 15-year-old high school student. Classic!
CHANCES OF HAPPENING: 90%
5. How to fix the president’s health-care plan: You know Lil Tune has the answers.
CHANCES OF HAPPENING: 1%