There is no such thing as coincidence, grasshopper.
Sunday, I got to Ropewalk Tavern at the exact same time as a few Bud Light rep girls.
You've seen their type before: A pack of 20-something women sporting tons of INSERT BEER NAME HERE gear, buying free drinks for guys at the bar to help pump up the brand.
I've heard of PBR reps lining up pitchers of suds on the bar and serving it to anyone who had a glass. Now that's American.
Being a thirsty Ravens fan in the right place at the right time, I was ready and willing to slam back a few free Bud Lights Sunday.
What actually happened shocked and appalled me ...
Midnight Sunner jmgiordano and I were sitting at the bar, sipping $2.50 Peroni drafts when one of the Bud Light girls approached us.
"What are you guys drinking?" she asked.
"Peronis. But it's been a while since we've tried a cold, delicious Bud Light," we said.
"You should be drinking Stella (Artois)," she said. If you didn't know, Budweiser and Stella are joined at the hip.
"Sounds tempting," we said. "Will you buy us one?"
"Why don't you guys buy me one?," she said.
That's when an imaginary record scratched, and my face convulsed in a mixture of shock/horror/confusion. She was serious. The Bud Light girl wanted us to buy a beer for her. Does not compute. DOES NOT COMPUTE.
When she realized we were not about to pay American money to purchase crappy domestic beer (or crisp but ultimately thin and disappointing Stella Artois), for anyone -- especially a rep -- the Bud Light girl meandered down the bar, distributing purple beads to other patrons.
They weren't giving out free Bud Light. They. Weren't. Giving. Out. Free. Bud. Light.
Has the whole world gone crazy? Has the recession struck so deep that even corporate mega-giant beer conglomerates can't afford a few pints on the house? That is just un-American. There, I said it.
And now, I don't know if I'll ever drink Bud Light again. I just don't know.