Inside a book tour with Bill Simmons

Ever wanted to know the real truth about book tours? Bill Simmons, an columnist who wrote "The Book of Basketball," provides an inside look at his "11 signings in 11 days" marketing death march. Some highlights:

-- In New York, I successfully signed a piece of raw veal with a Sharpie. The only thing that would have been tougher? Signing an oyster or a kidney.

-- Every time someone asked me to sign a book for a friend who was getting engaged, I signed it, "WELCOME TO HELL." I just thought this was funny. Nine out of every 10 people agreed. The 10th person seemed horrified. Whatever. Ninety percent is solid.

-- More than a few readers were aspiring writers asking for advice. I always told them the same thing: 'Don't get discouraged; keep plugging away.' The truth is, I don't know the answer. Because there isn't one.

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