Owl Meat's Tipsy Tuesdays: A hairy situation

This week, Owl Meat has somehow stumbled upon a particularly wacky group of people called Furries (it takes one to know one, Owly). Here, OMG exposes the underbelly of this hairy subset:

This week, lions and tigers and bears roam with impunity. Want to thump melons at Safeway as a costumed carnal carnivore? Meow. In a month? Nah, that would be weird.

But in the world of Furries, it's Halloween every day.

Furries are adults who dress up as stuffed/plush animals. This sub-culture has their own animation, music, conventions and literature. There are dozens of conventions and events all over the world. The largest, Anthrocon, attracted nearly 4,000 attendees this year ...

In an article in Vanity Fair some basic terms were defined:

"Yiff" means sex. "Fur pile" denotes a bunch of furries lying on top of one another, affectionately, while skritching [fake grooming and scratching]. A "furvert" is anyone who is sexually attracted to mascots and such.

These are no costume store rentals. People create characters with their own psycho-biographies. Costumes are hand-made and very specific. Some are creepy animal/human combos called "morphs" or "anthros".

The creepiest are the animals with human-like genitalia. Many wear clothes, including bikinis, lingerie, cowboy outfits ... whatever. Over-sized tails are popular (Do the psycho-math).

Here are some descriptions of Furry composers' "identities" from the Furry Music Foundation (really):

  • A 6' tall kangaroo rat. He has tan fur covering most of him, with creamy white under his belly. He has a long black tail, and is usually seen wearing his "Indiana Jones" style hat. He loves to goof around, listen to and make music, and he's just an overall nice rat.
  • Five foot ten inch anthro skunk. Something of a hermit, but friendly enough once you get to know him.
  • Brody Catsmouth is a tall young lion with a gentle demeanor.
  • Chama C. Fox is a little, nonmorphic cape fox with a big appetite for life and music.

Sexualized anthropomorphic animals (animals with human features) freak me out. Then I realized that children are bombarded with talking animals and plush animal toys from birth. How does that not imprint on our sexual identities? I'm surprised we're not weirder than we are.

Aside from the propinquitous Halloween costume angle, there is a Midnight Sun music tie-in. Yeah, Furry music. Zink!

Duran Duran's "The Reflex" re-imagined as a Furry beach romp.

Behold the creepy Furry tribute.

There is a Furry music database with songs listed by animal. Tsk tsk, their vulpine fetish list has "Fox on the Run" but not "Portions for Foxes". Grrrr ... Jenny Lewis, "and the talkin' leads to touchin' / then touchin' leads to sex / and then there is no mystery left ..."

Creep out to Aerosmith as raccoons.

Is Furry the new Goth? Maybe. Ever see old Goths? Even Robert Smith of The Cure can't escape the withering paws of time, but a full-body plush purple squirrel suit with beret and monocle is forever young.

Judge not, for this is Halloween, when Otherness is King.

By the way, this is the best Halloween costume ever!

So what is your Halloween costume? Will you wear it to the Midnight Sun Social on Thursday? Me? I'll be dressed as bad news, 'cause baby I'm bad news.

(Photos courtesy of Wikifur.com)

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