By now, you may have noticed the bar of colorful, funny-looking buttons right below the comments link on every post.
What do they do, you might be wondering.
Well, I'm not sure. But I'm told that every time you click on them, my power grows.
But I'm not the only one who benefits.
If you're bald and you click on them, a hair sprouts somewhere on your scalp.*
If you're chubby and you click on them, one fat cell disappears forever.*
So, please, click away.
*Neither of these effects are clinically proven. They may even be lies.