The introduction to the 1999 edition of City Paper's Holiday Guide advises readers to "exercise your freedom of choice to do what we tell you." The cover art—Shepard Fairey's "Obey Santa"—sets an appropriate tone. Suggested gifts include East German guard hats, items being auctioned from the recently closed Haussner's Restaurant (such as a giant ball of string), shrunken heads from the American Dime Museum, boxes of Millenios cereal, mistletoe belt-buckles, bookbinding classes, and Hindu God lunchboxes. The essays are: Brennen Jensen musing about eggnog, "the cocktail that drinks like a meal"; Andrew Reiner explaining why he intends to spend "more money and time in small, independently owned businesses instead of the Targets and Wal-Marts of the world" during the holiday-shopping season; and Natalie Davis scrolling through some online holiday cards.
Wiley Hall III's Urban Rhythms recalls the Little Rock Nine, who integrated an all-white high school in the 1950s. Sandy Asirvatham's Underwhelmed riffs on The West Wing's portrayal of fatherhood. Joab Jackson's Cyberpunk analyzes the anti-trust case against Microsoft. In 8 Upper, Tom Scocca assesses baseball's Gold Glove award.
The Nose attends an "Intern Fair" at UMBC.
Charmed Life's Charles Cohen dances around the polka scene at the Canton Liquor House.