Holiday Song Contest

Liven up your carols with the winners of our holiday song contest, denoted by the green text. For their efforts, the top composers won family four-packs to the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra's "Sleighbell Pops" concert on Dec. 14 or "Handel's Messiah" on Dec. 21.

Sing to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

You better stay home.
You better not drive.
You're lucky if you come through this alive.

Stay off of the road!
Take cover, you fools!
Get back in your bed,
They're closing the schools!

Let's buy some toilet paper,
And white bread by the ton.
The stores have all run out of milk
'Cause the panic has begun.

It's time to freak out!
There's no time to lose -
It's the only event on the TV news.
AN INCH OF SNOW IS COMING TO TOWWWWWWNNNNN!!--Steve Scheinberg, Jarrettsville

To the tune of "Take Me Out to The Ball Game"

Take me out to the mall, babe
Take me out to the stores
Bargains galore will be on the racks
Discounts abound and the state's waived the tax
We can root, root, root through the clothes, e'en
Shop for shoes in between
So let's get set, go, and head out
To the old mall scene. --Robert E. VanLaningham

"Charm City's Lookin' Alright" (to tune of "Go, Go You Baltimore Colts)

Lets have a glass full of cheer, to welcome in the brand new year,and look ahead to new times, eat crabs and laugh, and down some beer,Charm City's lookin' alright. Terps, Ravens, Orioles shine bright,we'll have a toast, and thank the host,and look forward to new delights. --John Eisenhardt

Sing to the tune of "I'll Be Home for Christmas."

I'll be cloned for Christmas.
You'll count two of me.
He'll have my nose
And my smelly toes
And my personaliteeee

Christmas Eve, you'll find me
And my Xerox twin.
I'll be cloned for Christmas
My test tube's been sent in!--Steve Scheinberg, Jarrettsville

Sing to the tune of "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland."

In the rain, we'll go shoppin'.
And the pain won't be stoppin'.
No parking in sight
My knuckles are white,
Sittin' in a Christmas traffic jam.

Gone away is my patience.
Here to stay: just frustrations.
We're stuck in the car,
We won't get too far.
Sittin' in a Christmas traffic jam.

Cruising through the parking lot real slow, man,
We see a guy who's standing by his car.
We'll say "Are ya leaving?"
He'll say "No, man! I just came out to smoke this old cigar."

Later on, we'll perspire
While we change our flat tire.
The gridlock is tight,
We'll call it a night.
Sittin' in a Christmas traffic jam!
--Steve Scheinberg, Jarrettsville

To the tune of "Shanty Town"

There's a Santa comes to town
When the snow is on the ground
And he fills his bag with toys
More than 'nough to go around

With his cheeks bright red
'Neath the cap upon his head
And it's plain for all to see
That he's been well-fed

He's as jolly as can be
As he trims each Christmas tree
With candy canes and presents
He's brought for you and me
He's the Santa
That comes to our town--Robert E. VanLaningham

Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Shannon, the tough nosed Raven,
is heading for the Hall of Fame.
He's such a great tight end,
He even puts Ozzie Newsome to shame.

All of the other Ravens,
benefit from Shannon's plays.
Without his TD catches,
the team just wouldn't be the same.--Steven Blum

Sung to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire"

Beer nuts, toasted, on an open bar.
Big guys drinkin' Nattie Bohs.
Ravens flags being hung from our car,
And folks dressed up in purple clothes.

Everybody knows a turkey who's a Steelers fan,
Always lookin' for a fight.
Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow,
Will watch the game with us tonight.

They know the Ravens are on their way.
They know Ray Lewis and the defense comes to play.
And every Dundalk child is gonna spy
To see if Grbak really can let one fly.

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase
To Ravens fans both far and near.
Although it's been said, many times many ways,
"SUPER BOWL TIME ... SUPER BOWL TIME, THIS YEAR!"Steve Scheinberg, Jarrettsville

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